What a Day!

I'm saying that in a crazy way. Good things happened today, progress was made, but things are not stable anymore. I thought that the problems would be over when I got my disability, but it turns out I have a lot more to worry about than I thought before. 
What it boils down to is this: Geo and I got into a fight/discussion about various problems we have been having. It started out as a fight, but turned into a productive discussion. I have been worrying about his eating habits, and he finally admitted that he has been eating more than usual lately. It does turn out that the Alli he has been taking is helping him, which I thought it wasn't. So it's good that he realizes that there is something wrong. It's a small step, but it's on it's way to the most important one- realizing there is a problem. It just depends on what he chooses to do from now on. I am still serious about what I wrote in January about me possibly leaving him in October because of his food addiction and other issues.
He talked to me about things I need to work on too. He said the most stable I ever was when I was in therapy with Dr. Arrango. She was the only therapist I've had who has helped me. I haven't been in therapy since I stopped seeing her years ago, and it's something I've been meaning to do but didn't have the money for. I was thinking of trying the therapists at the local clinic, but I don't think I will get the same quality of help that I did from Arrango. So I need to see her again. What I want to work on in therapy: My borderline and relating to people and recognizing my own emotions and the emotions of others, also how to take sarcasm and other things and realize when it's being done. I take people's words at face value, and you can imagine how frustrating that would be. I don't understand myself- when I play poker, I know if the person I'm playing (even online) has a better hand than I, but I can't tell when I'm stressed out until the hallucinations come. That's a pretty big problem- not only for myself, but for others. I can't tell when Geo is stressed unless it's super obvious. I have my own list of things I need to work on.
What ended up happening is this: We are both going to evaluate and take time and see if we can handle this relationship and talk in maybe a couple weeks or months. It will have to happen by July or August, that's when we have to tell the apartment people if we are going to re-sign our lease or move out. I don't want any decisions to be made in haste or full of emotions. I want this to be well thought out for both of us, and see if we can come to an agreement.
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Food: I had 2 hamburgers for lunch (I woke up late) but they were low-fat and mixed with onions in the beef to make it leaner. I had chicken soup for dinner (home made, with a chicken thigh, some salt, pepper, and other seasonings, rice, peas and carrots) and then some ice cream. I know I was bad on food today, but at least I got one good meal in.
Sleep: I slept from around 11:30pm to 8am, and woke up hallucinating. Took 1mg of Klonopin and fell back asleep until around 11:30. Mood- I'm going to keep it as bad, since I don't really know how I'm feeling, and that's not normally a good thing.