I thought I had been getting to a point where maybe I could begin to have feelings for someone else. I've had a couple of dates in the past weeks, and had begun to feel like perhaps someone would find me attractive and desirable, would want to get to know me, perhaps even touch my heart. I went out dancing this evening to the c/w bar here in DC -- a place I go often, but that is also filled with so many memories of my 'ex.' It is, after all, where we met and where our circle of friends socializes so often and where we spent countless hours over the years dancing in each other's arms. As the evening wore on, I began to feel more and more sad, finally leaving and walking home a short while ago, as tears began to come for the first time in over a week. When I got home ... I started weeping like I haven't wept in quite some time, and I realized that yesterday marked the 8th month since he broke up with me, since (as my friend Mike says), he "stepped away" from me. Perhaps the tears were brought by knowing that it was another milestone passed, another month gone by when he is further and further from me ... and knowing though not wanting to believe that he is not coming back.
Many people say, "it takes a year" to get over the loss of a love, the ending of a relationship. I wish it were July!