luck?

I feel like it is only "luck" that has allowed me to reach 20 days... I was very close to breaking down last Friday and the only thing that stopped me was the fact I couldn't get the website to take my money - the result of previous bad debts I never paid off I guess, even though it was a different website I guess if the payment method is the same they just know. I was glad when that happened and I quickly found better things to do, I got some things done around the house etc, and I was feeling good!That was Friday, saturday was rough, sunday was nice but problems at home are piling up and really stressing me out. I am only working part time right now, so even though I have tons to do, so much that I feel super stressed, I also feel like I just want to take an afternoon "off" and just go do something for myself, get away from the things that are stressing me out, and just "relax". when I get thoughts like these I think of the casino. I like being in a casino, it feels friendly (well sometimes!!) theres always something going on, people around, excitement etc..
So, my struggle now is to ask myself, do I really want this goal? Do I really want to stay gamble free? How bad do I want it? Will I fight agsainst the urges, or will I give in, yet again - just once more, or just a little bit, or i wont take my plastic just cash... etc... right now I just dont know how much fight I have in me.
So thats why I feel I am just lucky I havent done any gambling in the last 20 days, its not because I am strong but I have just avoided it, and narrowly, so far...