I've been wanting to drink lately.  It has been many years since I have had a drink and I need to remember the shame, humiliation, fear and self-loathing that I felt when I drank.
 
I was a falling-down, blacking out drunk.  I woke up one morning and did not know where my black eye and swollen face had come from.  I had been rolling in the dirt somewhere - I knew that because my clothes were ripped and filthy.
 
I had been drinking for about 12 years but got sober a few days after that experience - and my life changed.  I cannot drink - it will change my life back.