When I agreed to talk to my mother again - a few years ago - she described my battles  to protect my husband's esate as merely my inability to let go of things; making a big deal out of nothing; malingering in my neurosis. I have not talked to her since.   Had I listened to her and given up - I would have lost everything and never would I have seen the kind of beauty that is here. ..    It is her voice that continues to haunt me I think and possibly why I feel I have to yell to have my rights heard.