This is about my husband – John – the most amazing man I have ever known. John, died six months after he learned he had lung cancer. Six short months to deal with so much. He wanted to believe he would get well and so did I. I would not allow the doctors to tell him that he was terminal until John asked. They had strict instructions to give him as much hope as was possible - not to lie - just give him some hope. Maybe I deprived him of the stages he needed to go through at the end of his life - i'm not sure - but I did not want to see the light go out of his eyes - replaced by fear - I could not stand that for him. I wanted him to live as long as he could without being shattered. Just days before he died he asked me if he was going to die – and I still could not tell him – I still wanted to believe he would somehow pull through. He asked me for a priest and received his last rights one day before he was gone. ABOUT MY HUSBAND, JOHN: He was brilliant -- he was chosen Trial Lawyer of The Year, for the entire country, by the American Trial Lawyers Association when he was in his early forties - he was incredible in court - but more importantly he was one of the most gentle, caring, loving, encouraging, supportive people I had ever known. If it had not been for my husband, I, and many others, would never have known what they were capable of doing in life. John 's integrity was legendary among his colleagues – example - after trying a case for Honda Motor Co. which he lost due to an associate lawyer's HUGE oversight while preparing for trial, he called the company to tell them he had committed malpractice - and gave them their options concerning recourse. He was greatly admired for his honesty. At the same time, he was so capable of doing so much for so many - and he never tired of it. He truly tried to correct the wrongs that were done to people that touched him. He had the love and respect of practically everyone he had ever met. You could almost hear people saying "who was that masked man" as he was walking away......on to his next endeavor. As to the genius that John was - he tried the corvair cases for GM many years ago - His main "Exhibit" for the trial was a little red wagon - modified with all sorts of weights and dials to conform to the same basic design as the corvair. How brilliant was that??? What juror would not identify with that little red wagon - with love and memories. He was a genius. He loved collecting corvairs after that trial – his favorite was a little brown corvair convertible that he would stuff his 6'5" frame into, swearing about these God damned small cars (which he dearly loved), and drive off to work. It looked like a grown man going off to work in a big wheel - it was a riot and so much him - and I loved him so much. John started his lawfirm with a man named George (we’ve discussed him). The firm was exceedingly successful mainly due to John’s incredible reputation, his sense of fairness, his integrity in dealing with his clients and his awesome track record in court. One of the articles that was written about him in the legal journals when he died was entitled “One of the Truly Great Giants In Our Profession Has Fallen”. He was amazing. People were drawn to John and his energy. When he came into a room – the room felt good and people wanted to be near him. I was so proud to be his wife. John never let me down. His word was his word and he did what he said he would do. He adored me – and I him. He loved taking me to places I had never been – all over the world. He wanted me to be happy and supported me in my concerns, my fears, my issues, no matter what. He used to love helping me write ads for my company – and they were very good ads. We laughed a lot – totally disagreed about politics – and he could finally embrace sobriety after we began our life together. We had two terriers in our home that kept having puppies – this was a very new area of life for John - and he so loved his puppies. We shared a lot of new areas in life together - I miss him - and I was so proud to be his wife.
Replies
This is such a moving entry, and I am so happy for you that you had such a wonderful husband. There are so many who have never and may never experience such love in ther lifetimes, and it is truly a blessing and a gift. I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy for the joy and life you had with him.
Thanks - I agree - I was very blessed.
Oh LJ, this was so nice to read. Your love for him shines through in all you say. You spoke of hope, you have been a source of hope for me and I am certain for many others as well.
He sounds like such an amzing man LJ..you picked a good one..I am so sorry for your loss..I know you will never stop hurting over it..I can tell how much you love him. I am happy that you spent so mant good yaers with him..xoxo
What a wonderful entry this is, thank you for sharing so much about John.
You were both so lucky to have found each other! thanks for sharing such a wonderful part of your life!
Thank you so much for your comments - I really do miss him - I felt so safe when he was alive - and he did too. Funny - we both knew some things about life that the other one didn\'t and the other one needed to know - we were good together.
Lucky, And blessed to have had that love // D
I think you did right by him and that could not of been easy for you.
i am hinored to know your john by your loving tribute to him. i know he would be so proud of his best friend. i am proud of you and i know you so little. i look forward to reading more from your journal. devon
loving u always yes u can feel the love between you. xx ur amazing lady x
wow sounds like a real swell guy xjx
it seems as tho you had one of the very very few.I can see you really Loved him.
You are a very lucky lady to have had such a wonderful husband and a happy marriage, you were blessed my friend
You give me hope that I too can find someone to that will love me. There are good men out there, I am glad your husband was one of them.