Hi everyone,
I'm new to this site and I'm not really sure what it is. I have eczema which i just found out this year. I was born with normal skin, but then i got it as an infant and id be interested to know how and why i got it. Ive lived my life in sadness, embarassment, you name it! i just found out that i have eczema this year when i finally convinved my mom to take to a dermatologist hoping they could help. I was very nervous for my first appointment and didnt know what to expect. They tried a series of medications which didnt help and then when they gave up, they did a biopsy and now here i am. They give me free samples because i dont have medical insurance which is why it took me so long to convince my mom to take me because it costs $75 everytime i walk in the door. I dont have the eczema that most people have with the redness and oozing and stuff. I have it on my hands and feet. Its very very very dry and cracked and yellowish. I look at other people's hands and feet and get extremely jealous and wonder why i got this and everyone else seems to be normal. People ask me whats wrong and i lie everyday saying nothing im fine but thats not the truth. I wrote a letter to my mom a while back telling her how i truly felt but she never said anything to me about it and i dont know why but im not the kind of person who talks about their feelings or shows emotion at all. In fact, im quite the opposite. The doctor says its hereditary, but nobody in my family has it or anything like it. I wonder if i will ever get a boyfriend or find someone who will understand. What if i do find a boyfriend or a husband and have children? will they then get eczema if its hereditary? im afraid to find out because i dont wan them feeling the way i do everyday. The dermatologist says i may grow out of it, but i am a very negative person and i highly doubt that! besides, he didnt even know what it was until he took a biopsy so how would he know? my sister, mom, and dad, all have normal skin. Why me? I avoid social events with my friends especially in the summer when they ask me to go to the beach i make up an excuse for why i cant go because im embarrassed. Only a few people in my family actually know of my eczema which is what makes it so hard. I look forward to winter time knowing i can hide my feet and feel happy and not worry if anybody is looking. I cant deal with this on my own anymore. Thanks for listening.