15th October

Had a very rough night last night I think it all just hit me at once with my aunts passing. I did alot better 2day i slept most of it as i do these days Kev came home from work at about 6.45 we had dinner together and lit a candle 4 Macy. I wasnt sure what i was going to do but I spent most of the time praying to god asking him to hold and hug our angels until we get there bc i cant stand to think no 1 will hold her and i did cry 4 awhile thinking it should be me that holds her, cuddles her when she cries, picks her up when she falls, takes care of her when she is sick, tickles her and gives her chubby cheeks a million little kisses. I will never get to do these things with my Macy neither will her Daddy or her brother.I want to plant a tree or a flower 4 Macy something i can look at every day its just so hard to choose 1 suitable and im not that much of a green thumb so i would be devestated if it died to. I want something pretty that has pink flowers on it.