Hi everyone just to let ya know iam feeling really bad self harmed loads going out tonight to let my hair down i know i fucking need it counting the days til i go the eating disorder clinic so scared and frightened well off out now talk soon xxxx
I wish you werent feeling so bad ! I used to have Bulimia n anorexa ( I know cant spell sometimes...LOL ) I hate throwing up now..When I get sick witch I have in the past week I wait so long ,as long as I can not to throw up..I almost didnt make it to the bathroom,That would have sucked ! I felt abit better though...Auxually Im pretty sure I had some sort of food poisioning..We had Thanksgiving at my in-laws n I always feel sick after eating there...LOL...But seriously I felt so bad for a few days..Nobody else got sick only me...Maybe shes trying to poison me !!! LOL.......I still sometimes dont eat for days,but have gotten alot better in this past year...I looked ill..So skinney..Weighed 93lbs..My face was so pale n thin..My eyes were so dry n wide,not in a good wat though...I now weigh a healthy 106 as I weighed my self this morning,, I was concerened cause I was so ill I couldnt eat I lost 5lbs..But I seemed to of gained it back ! Part of me wants to be so small..My belly gets so thin n I like that...But I am 5\"1 n small boned so I look so sickly..I have had more complements from friends,neighbors n even my doctor..Oh yea my therapist too ..Well I just vented to you ! I hope you dont mind...I wish you the best ! I hope you can see ypurself as oyhers see you...Thats what my therapist tells me any way ! LOL..Really you are as always in my prayers ! Love to you,xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoCath
I\'m glad you\'re going to the clinic. It sucks to spend so much time treating symptoms when you know there is something underlying that really must be addressed. It\'s just that you have hurt yourself to the extent that the symptoms must be treated if you are to survive.
Keep working on the core issues, whatever they are. Look to find peace with the catalyst for your self harm and eating disorder symptoms. The longer you work at it, the more accepting and healthy you will become.
Thanks for writing back to me, for the journal entry and for not giving up on yourself. Your efforts to overcome these major issues are inspiring.
Replies
I wish you werent feeling so bad ! I used to have Bulimia n anorexa ( I know cant spell sometimes...LOL ) I hate throwing up now..When I get sick witch I have in the past week I wait so long ,as long as I can not to throw up..I almost didnt make it to the bathroom,That would have sucked ! I felt abit better though...Auxually Im pretty sure I had some sort of food poisioning..We had Thanksgiving at my in-laws n I always feel sick after eating there...LOL...But seriously I felt so bad for a few days..Nobody else got sick only me...Maybe shes trying to poison me !!! LOL.......I still sometimes dont eat for days,but have gotten alot better in this past year...I looked ill..So skinney..Weighed 93lbs..My face was so pale n thin..My eyes were so dry n wide,not in a good wat though...I now weigh a healthy 106 as I weighed my self this morning,, I was concerened cause I was so ill I couldnt eat I lost 5lbs..But I seemed to of gained it back ! Part of me wants to be so small..My belly gets so thin n I like that...But I am 5\"1 n small boned so I look so sickly..I have had more complements from friends,neighbors n even my doctor..Oh yea my therapist too ..Well I just vented to you ! I hope you dont mind...I wish you the best ! I hope you can see ypurself as oyhers see you...Thats what my therapist tells me any way ! LOL..Really you are as always in my prayers ! Love to you,xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoCath
been to treatment twice...talk to me when you need to....lots of love....jann
I\'m glad you\'re going to the clinic. It sucks to spend so much time treating symptoms when you know there is something underlying that really must be addressed. It\'s just that you have hurt yourself to the extent that the symptoms must be treated if you are to survive.
Keep working on the core issues, whatever they are. Look to find peace with the catalyst for your self harm and eating disorder symptoms. The longer you work at it, the more accepting and healthy you will become.
Thanks for writing back to me, for the journal entry and for not giving up on yourself. Your efforts to overcome these major issues are inspiring.