Sat ere vodka in one hand and razor in the other so close to cutting myself not done it for a bit so want to do it.The feeling is so strong adn is taking over my body like a illness all i can see infront of me is blood how i so what to see my own blood i have feel it bubbling inside i can see it rolling down the screen i wnat to feel its warmth runnning down my arm to my wrist drip drip drip off my fingers but i kow i cant incase i upset someone i wish they understood how it feels to want to do this awwwwwwwwwwwwww iam so fucking pissed off right now one quick jab and its all over i would of cut myself but there is the whole devil on one ear syaing do it you wanker do it and the angel on the other saying please dont you dont need to i feel like shooting the angel and kissing the devil but i know i cant do as others will be upset fuck to what i want think about others first michael well i will finish the bottle vodka and prtoberly go to bed
Replies
good for you michael, you didnt do it.....im so proud of you...i hope that your gettig help so that these strong feelings of cutting your self can be better managed...i know that its really tough to stop yourself from doing something that will bring you some relief, as bad as it may be....but you thought of your family and friends and you knew that you couldnt hurt them like that....i hope you are proud of yourself....there are lots of people here to talk to you if this happens again, we can help you get through the rough times.....thinking of you....lots of love....jann
Hope you were able to sleep. Everytime you face down the demons, the stronger you become. I can\'t imagine your particular feelings, but I know the desperation of wanting some relief from the pain-anything to lessen the overwhelming sense of loss and despair. You reminded me of one reason to keep myself safe--others love me and can see in me what I can\'t see in myself. Trust their love, trust in your own goodness and make contact when you\'re down. Your courage in sharing gives me hope that I can make it. Peace, Pax
Well done you! I am chuffed that you didn\'t do it. xXx