Hi well i dont know were to start really and to be honest i dont even feel with it i feel like i am somewere else. I have been thinking of really bad things at the moment like visions of me killin gmy boyfriend and family its horrible. I am considaring running away ( i know what people will say oh he is 24 years old running away is waht a 10 year old does not a 24 year old man ) well i dont care i want to do it to escape all this shit thats filling my head. Iam going to see my shrink next week and i know he wont take me seriously. When will all this shit stop or ease.I am finding it hard being around my mates now as i fel like they dont like me . I have wanted to cut for ages now but cant incase my boyfriend has a go at me .I have been making my sick even more and drink shit loads. I know iam falling into that evil pit of deep depression which last time landed me in the mad house on a section.Everything is fucked up in my life at this momnet in time everyone keeps aying things will get better things will be ok i just wish peole would stopo saying that telling me to get help i have been getting help for 10 yers now and iam no near to getting better infact i feel its best if iwas not here that i was dead or i had never bgeen bornwell thats my rant over
Replies
well im glad you ranted, and i hope that it made you feel a little better....
i have felt the same way....i wanted to send the kids to school, drop off the baby at my husbands work and then leave. i didnt know where i would go or what i would do and i didnt care, i just wanted out....i felt like if i left the pain would stay, i know that its not sane, but im not alway sane.....
please dont go anywhere, your mates[im sure the like you] would miss you and your family what would they do??? they would be calling the police and looking for you all over the place....plus its dangerous out there alone where would you go....where would you stay....
when you feel like that you should talk to a friend or therapist or someone you trust until the feeling passes.....
im not going to tell you that everything is going to be ok.....im just going to tell you not to give up, keep fighting, dont give in to this disease.....stay here and get support talk to us and you wont be alone in your fight.....thinking of you....jann