fuck fuck fuck ,,i just wrote a long page and deleted it by accident ,,shit here we go again ,,,,,,,,,wish i wasnt a addict so i could pound a few down right about now ,,,or better yet just one big hit,,,lol hell  what about a FREEKING MEETING ,,,yeah that sounds a lil better i need one of those more then anything ,,,but i fuking hate the poeple there well not all of them but majority i hate them fucking fake back stabing fucking hugers......but i need my recovery so i will sit in those meeting and put on my fucking fake face for them all,,,,,,,,,*ok nance breath and let all the anger go*,so ,,,,tomorow i'm cooking about 20 pounds of perogies ,,,yummy,,,,,3 kind (sour crout and bacon ,,,,,,patatoes and velvita cheese,and pataoes and bacon and cheese ,) should be good the kids can't wait they love them ,,,,,so some one has called children aids on me saying i was using coke and needles ,,,,so they came here (children aids) i told them listen go see my methodone doctor he's got all my urine test from the last 2 years so check it out,,,,,the worker sorta told me who it was ,,,and it dont suprise me it was my mother cause we had a big fight and io told her i was talking to ron again so she got mad and this is what shes done ,,oh well my mother never raised me she was a addict herself i was addopted and i had to move back with her after my addopted parents passed away so no big lost ,,,,but i am just about to put a add in the paper *family with 4 kids looking for decent grand parents *my poor kids as no grand parents so ,,,,,,,,,,any hoo i will be at the meeting on tuesday night im too busy right now to go ,,,,,,,hope you are well hugssssssssss hugs castaway,,,,,,,hugs disp..missing ya hun hugzzzzzzzzzzz everyone