well  its been a while since i have done a meeting ,,,,,i just been trying to get over the l;ost of my sister and the betrayl of some one in n.a ,,,,,,,,i dont even want to go any more but i know i need to be there ..if i dont i will go out and use again so ,,,,,,,beside that im sorta bummed that no one form the meeting has called me to ask how i was doing since i just lost my bab7y sister ,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh well maybe they werent my friends to begin with who was i fooling uh ,,,oh well ,,,,,,,,so many woman from the meeting are pregnant ,,,hehehe for once its not me lol so the father of my oldest who i will call *B* was  here a few days ago (hes a active user of speed* so he was here telling the kids he was gonna buy them this and that ,,,the same bullshit and i told him he got a pay check the only one hes ever had  the last 7 years and he took off with it without giving me a dime ,,,what a loser ......i just get tired of taking care of the kids in every way  they need ,,,all alone ,,,,,,,,,i didnt make them alone  so why do they get away with just  stoping by and saying hello and leaving ,,,,makes me so mad ,,,,,,,,but i know i cant get  angry i still have to be everything that i am to the kids with or without the help of there dads,,,,,,,,it would be nice to get a lil help financially too tho ,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh well the kids are spoiled anyways ,,,,,since i have stop using doe all the money im saving i spend on them so they all got a i pod last week they got tv satelite in therte bedrom and x mas they both (the oldest) getting a laptop and more stuff,,,,,,,,the babies are well  too ,.,,,,keyan hasnt been himself lately it must be the  temp change but im sure it will place it self anywyass i m getting the kick off the puter my shy-ann so i will come opmn lter and finish this mess have agood one whoever is reading this lol love ya love me lol

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Nice to read a journal from you again.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks for the comments nancy. Hope to see you soon at a meeting. Don\'t let the bastards grind ya down.