Broken

Its a dull ache... every day in my chest.
It never goes away. 
There is not a day that goes by where a tear doesn't slide down my cheek.
Wiping it quickly away and telling myself to toughen up.  Stay strong.
But Im lonely... in a world full of people.
I force myself to smile, to be around people, to reach out to friends.
But my attempts turn to failures, when did people stop caring?
When did the world become so busy and people so selfish?
This is not my cry for help... just my cry to myself.
To try to make sense of all this pain, of this abandonment.
To feel like your best friend doesnt care...the one who said they would be there no matter what.
The one who doesnt return your calls when you have a fight... who will ignore you for two weeks.
This best friend who is also your lover, when did things change? 
When did you stop being there for me and why?
I never felt so heartbroken than when I realized you would not be there for me.
Never felt so confused when you said we would work through anything
Then when our relationship was tested, you bailed, ignored me for two weeks.
Something broke in me and the pain leaks out through the cracks that wont heal.
Now I find myself pulling away to scared to get close, to scared to hope that things will work.
Each day we spend together I feel us growing more distant.
But I am the only one making effort to keep us together and I want to stop.
I want you to fight for this... I want you to restore my trust in you and us.