HOLY DOODLE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN JUST OVER A MONTH SINCE I HAVE WROTE IN MY JOURNAL! I REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY, OTHER THAN MY FM PAIN AND MY CHRONIC FATIGUE ARE STILL VERY MUCH A DAILY NIGHTMARE!! EVERY DAY I WAKE UP IN SEVERE PAIN, FROM HEAD TO TOE!! I CAN BARELY WALK, I GET TO MY SPOT ON MY COUCH, WITH MY CUSHIONS, TAKE MY PAIN MEDS, MAKE MY COFFEE. THEN I CAN BARELY MOVE FOR THE NEXT 1-2HRS!! I GET UP FROM THE COUCH HERE AND THERE TO WASH MY FACE, BRUSH MY TEETH, AND THEN HAVE TO SIT AGAIN AS STANDING AND WALKING IS TOOO UNBEARABLE, FOR ME UNTIL THE PAIN MEDS START TO HELP A BIT. I WATCH MY NOON NEWS, AND SOMETIMES DR.PHIL, THEN MAYBE OPRAH, WAITING UNTIL I CAN GET MOBILE. THEN I CAN GET UP AND DOWN SLOWLY DOING SOME OF MY DAILY CHORES, AND TAKING BREAKS BETWEEN THEM. IF I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN APPT. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LEAST 3HRS. AHEAD, DUE TO THE TIME IT TAKES ME TO GET MOBILE! IF I HAVE ERRANDS TO MAKE I DO THE BEST I CAN, AND USUALLY DO TOOO MUCH, AND I CAN ONLY DO THEM ON A LITTLE BETTER DAY. SO, I DO TRY AND GET THE BASIC HOUSEHOLD CHORES DONE. BUT I NEVER SEEM TO GET PAST THAT POINT. MY HUSBAND HELPS ME SOOO MUCH!! BLESS HIS HEART! HE ALWAYS DOES THE GROCERY SHOPPING, AND MOST OF THE RUNNING AROUND ON THE WEEKEND WHEN HE SOMETIMES GETS IT OFF. WE TRY AND GET OUT TO A MOVIE OR DINNER ON THE WEEKEND, OR SOMETIMES DURING THE WEEK. I SEE MY DAUGHTERS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, AND OF COURSE MY GRANDKIDS, SAVANNAH IS NOW 8YRS. OLD AND LITTLE AUSTIN HAS JUST TURNED 3YRS. OLD! I HAVE A COUPLE OF FRIENDS THAT I HAVE KNOWN FOR ABOUT 25 - 30 YRS. AND WE TRY TO GET TOGETHER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BUT THEY ALSO HAVE HEALTH ISSUES, AND NEITHER OF THEM DRIVE, AND THEY ARE NOT VERY CLOSE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. SO, I AM THE ONE THAT HAS TO GO AND PICK THEM UP TO GO FOR COFFEE, ETC. THIS ALSO IS NOT AN EASY TASK FOR ME. EVERYDAY, I HAVE SEVERE PAIN FROM MY HIPS, PELVIS, LEGS, KNEES, CALVES, AND ANKLES, AND FEET!! WHICH IS SOOO DEBILITATING TO ME I CAN BARELY WALK ALOT OF THE DAYS, LET ALONE DRIVE. AS DRIVING HURTS ME JUST TO RAISE MY FOOT FROM THE GAS TO THE BRAKE PEDAL!! THERE ARE MANY DAYS I DON'T GO OUT OF MY HOUSE FOR SOMETIMES 5 DAYS IN A ROW. THIS IS VERY FRUSTRATING, AS WHEN I WANT TO GO OUT I CAN'T, SO THIS ILLNESS DOES MAKE ME FEEL SOOO CONTROLLED BY IT!! AND I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL OF ME, NOT THE ILLNESS CONTROLLING ME!! I'M SURE ALOT OF YOU CAN RELATE TO THIS SITUATION. I TRY DAILY TO GET ONTO MY COMPUTER AND READ MY MESSAGES AND SEND A FEW, AND ALSO SEND OUT SOME WELL DESERVED HUGGLES, TO MY MANY DEAR AND THOUGHTFUL FRIENDS! I HAVE 23 FRIENDS ON DS, AND I NOTICE THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE LIKE, 123!! FRIENDS OR MORE! I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT??? I GET SOOO CONFUSED ON WHO HAS WHAT ILLNESS, AND WHO IS DOING WHAT IN THERE LIFE, SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I DO GET YOUR STORY MIXED UP. MY MEMORY IS SHOT, AND SO IS MY ORGANIZATION SKILLS, DUE TO MY CHRONIC FATIGUE AND THE PAIN I'M SURE HAS A LOT TO DO ALSO. I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT WHEN I HAVE THIS INSANE PAIN, I CALL IT. I HAVE HAD THIS FM AND CHRONIC FATIGUE (M.E.) FOR THE LAST 16YRS. AND IT CONTINUES TO GET MUCH WORSE AS THE YEARS GO ON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I DO REALLY CARE FOR EACH AND EVERYONE HERE ON DS!! YOU GET ME THROUGH MY DAYS AND NIGHTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM ALONE ALOT. I GET EXCITED TO SEE THAT I HAVE SOME MESSAGES, OR HUGS, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT SO VERY MUCH!!! MOST OF YOU LIVE IN THE STATES AND I DON'T THINK THAT YOU GET A VERY COLD WINTER, COMPARED TO HERE IN CANADA! WELL, I GUESS TO YOU, YOUR WEATHER IS COLD ALSO AS YOU ARE USED TO WARMER TEMPS. ALSO. THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE COLDEST WINTERS I CAN REMEMBER IN A LONG TIME. WE ARE GETTING ANOTHER BLIZZARD FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS! THEY SAY THE TEMP. WITH THE WIND CHILL WILL BE AN AVERAGE OF -35BELOW TO -40BELOW!!! AND I HAVE HEARD THE WEATHER MAN SAY IT IS COLDER THAN INSIDE OF A DEEP FREEZER! OOOOHHHH! , I HATE THIS FREEZING WEATHER, IT DOESN'T HELP AT ALL WITH THE FM, IT MAKES ME SOOO MUCH WORSE! I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE PAIN I CAN GET, MINE IS SOOOO UNBEARABLE EACH AND EVERYDAY, EVEN IN THE SUMMER. I SURE DO PRAY ONE DAY THEY WILL FIND A BETTER PAIN MED FOR ALL OF US. OR EVEN A CURE WOULD BE THE ONE MIRACLE WE ARE ALL SEEKING, I'M SURE! I GUESS I WILL END THIS JOURNAL FOR NOW, I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW AND WHAT I AM DOING LATELY.......NOT TOO MUCH.... JUST GETTING BY EACH AND EVERYDAY. I THINK OF ALL OF YOU MANY TIMES AND HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOU ARE ALL DOING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE DOING IN YOUR OWN LEVELS OF PAIN, AND IN YOUR LIVES!! THANKYOU ALL FOR BEING MY FRIENDS! LOVE TO ALL, I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR HUGS AND MESSAGES, THEY HELP ME GET THROUGH MY DAY. GOD BLESS YOU!! WITH LOVING AND KIND THOUGHTS SUE XXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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