things have been really good lately for those of you wondering about me. Ive not reaslly done much of anything except clean house, and the like. Which I need to do again, Im just lazy. I need to wash/dry/ put away laundry, Wash some dishes, pick up/ vacuum the livingroom... Just stuff like that. Plus, Ive been looking around for new couches. I like those sectional ones that are shaped like a L, but they're all either out of my budget or ratty as all get out, so the search continues. I also need to invest in some paint to get the livingroom, bathrooms, and kitchen painted. The primer the builders put on it 10 years ago looks like complete shit now. Thing is Im just trying to find the money to pull it all off. -sigh- Im thinking of whoring myself out as a paper editor. Like, school kids mail/ e-mail work to me for proofreading, and I fix their paper, and They pay me, but I can see all kinds of problems from that. -sigh-  Problems such as them not paying me. Rawr. Payment in advance. Lol.  It wouldn't work regardless. oh well. Start a "Jenns Broke as Hell Fund" or something I guess. No one around here is hiring, and every place that Is I call and it's "the position has been filled" which makes me want to call back with different voices and see if they're just fucking with me. People around here would do that too slimy bastards. Any ideas guys? Maybe the online therapist, online paper editor, erm... something. Heck I dont know. I just need some ideas, I need something to do, because God Im falling apart. Believe it or not folks I WANT to work, I WANT to pull my own weight, I WANT to be able to do things with MY hard EARNED cash.    The more I pray the less things happen for me though, and it's sad to say, but it's driving me crazy. I havent even written anything lately. -sigh- Writing is my detox from the world. My place where I can say/do/ be anything I want, and there's no one there to judge me or ridicule me. Thing is I cant seem to get my thoughts in order enough to do much of anything. Like this weekend I went down to Goodwill and the Salvation Army looking for nice couches to replaces these ratty ass ones we have now, and I forgot that this town is so psudo-religious, that nothing was open. I say psudo-religious because people here are slimy.    Meaning if you ask them to help a wounded man, they will drive past and think him an annoyance. Meaning that they go to church every Sunday, but never pay attention. They driev big expensive cars, and call it christian. They do not understand what it means to have the power of God inside them, and never will. They are closed minded puppets to the will of the wicked here. I know I need to move out of this city, Far away, but alas again, I have no money to do so. What a wicked world we live in.   God, please grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and Lord I need the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.