Im starting to wonder, if all I am able to do is cause others pain. Im hurting a dear old friend of mine by not being his mate, Im hurting someone who called me mommy (no blood relation at all) by breathing it seems, and most of all Im hurting myself for holding on to my past, but I cannot help it. I want to let go sometimes, but then I think back to all the wonderful times, and all the sweet things, and I want it again. God, I want him again!!!! If he reads these you know who you are. I want so badly to finally be back together with the one I cannot hate. Ive been mad at him so many times, and hes hurt me so damn badly, but it s as if... as if everything is meant to be somehow. He says he still loves me, he swears one day we'll be together again, but I wonder, God do I wonder. How long, how much, how many tears must I shed, and how long do I have to wait.... seeing that bitch with him? HOw much heartache must I endure? God, I want to give up, I want to say he doesnt matter anymore, I want to let him go for them to be happy, but I cant. God I cant. Im selfish. Iw ant so badly to regain the love we had. We endured so much together... and never broke up!!! Good God, he was stolen from me. We were in love, and always together, and then another... out of jealousy, had him arrested. Stolen from me!!! It was so long before I could see him, so long before I could hold him again, that in my weakness I turned to others. Is that love? Being willing to wait for them as they make their mistakes? Or should I move on? Good God kill me now, and make the choice for me.
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I hope you feel better soon, honey. xoooxoxoxoxoxo
Sounds like a complicated relationship. It seems by what you say that he still loves you. There\'s a positive. Go after him and keep it up until he finally gives in, is he truly loves you. For now, try to think of one day at a time and focus on positive issues in your life. Good Luck and be well.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are going through a difficult time! You are being honest with yourself, you are doing well, you are loved, I think you are really strong! Sending lots of love & support your way! Love Sarah
Dont beat yourself up over it.You are a strong girl and very loved.Hugs to you.Tracy.
Take it easy, if it is meant to be, as you say, it will be. I know from experience that you do not cause all people pain, you have been wonderful to me. How did this guy hurt you? If you don\'t mind me asking. And ask yourself why you love him. It sounds to me as though he is kinda stringing you along. If he is with someone else and telling you that he loves you, I would say he has a confused idea of what love is. Also, make sure that you don\'t want him because of the past. What do you have now? Also, remember that there was a reason for your seperation. I am not trying to suck the hope out of you, I just worry. He has hurt you before, he is hurting you now, who is to say he won\'t hurt you in the future. You are a great person, I just want you to find someone who deserves you.
Go after him and make him forget the B****.... :-)