Sunday

My H called today to talk to the kids and I talked to him, just miscellaneous stuff about work and the kids, the friendship is still there, we get along great, we talked and I can't help but wish that things were different that my "friend" can be my "husband" again, empty hope, dreams that I know won't come true but can't help but wish and dream.  At the end is all hopeless and it hurts me so I keep moving forward againts my will and my heart, keep moving forward to what I know in the end will be better.  I did stay strong but inside I really just wanted to tell him how much I miss him and still love him, feel stupid just by writing it.  Got my new "family" pic done today, it feels weird to say family when is just me and the kids but again it is my new reality, a hurtful and painful reality.