Sunday
My H called today to talk to the kids and I talked to him, just miscellaneous stuff about work and the kids, the friendship is still there, we get along great, we talked and I can't help but wish that things were different that my "friend" can be my "husband" again, empty hope, dreams that I know won't come true but can't help but wish and dream. At the end is all hopeless and it hurts me so I keep moving forward againts my will and my heart, keep moving forward to what I know in the end will be better. I did stay strong but inside I really just wanted to tell him how much I miss him and still love him, feel stupid just by writing it. Got my new "family" pic done today, it feels weird to say family when is just me and the kids but again it is my new reality, a hurtful and painful reality.
Replies
i am so sorry you are hurting. just keep putting one foot in front of the other. i actually did pretty well this weekend. i can\'t seem to competely go no contact, but just saying what i need to say to him and cutting it off is really helping i think. he asked me the other day when i thought we could be \"friends\" but we can\'t. i want a \"husband\" as you do and that can not be so i have to let it all go so i can heal myself. hope you feel better :}
Don\'t ever feel stupid for feeling what you do. Your feelings are real. Embrace and acknowledge them--even the really crappy ones!
My STBX really dogged me many times throughout the marriage. I still went through a period of missing him! It is normal. You are normal. You will be just fine one day--by FEELING your way through the pain!
((((HUGS))))
Thanks!!!!
i know exactly how you feel. i still struggle everyday with the fact that she has moved on, when i wish and hope so much that we could have worked things out. i think about her around the clock. i miss her so much. still i move forward like i am supposed to hoping everyday the the feelings go away.