Wednesday

My 7 yr old showed me this morning that he can tie his shoes by himself and that made me so happy but it got me thinking about the little things that I used to share with my H, the kids milestones or funny moments. Since he is overseas I used to email him everyday just to keep him updated in family life, what was happening with me and the kids but now I dont write to him at all, he still calls me and we talk but I don't feel like sharing those moments with him.  I want to tell him what the kids do but at the same time he lost that privilege, it was his choice, if he wants to stay in the kids life it is up to him not to me to keep that communication.  It hurts not having that one person to share those milestones and moments, I still have my family but he is their dad and the one person that I wanted to share those moments with.  Sometimes I get upset and overwhelmed with my kids since I'm on my own but I'm glad I get to enjoy my kids, I don't think he realizes how much he is missing out of his kids, I'm the one that get to see them crying, suffering and missing him but also their happiness and their love.  I guess it would just take time to adjust to the fact that even though he is still their father our relationship is different now.