Sunday!
Well, they left. Abby's best friend and her husband came too, to help with the clothes. I didn't mind them they seemed to genuinely want to help but Abby's annoying ass sister spent two days here saying "Oh, can I have that?" "Oh, can I have that?""Oh, can I have that?. I was very annoyed and she knew it, at the end she was getting Abby's BF to ask for her. I'm glad they're gone and I'm very very upset. I NEED to talk to Abby. I'm not saying that I want to, I NEED to. I can hardly see this stupid screen. Things are missing from our house, I can't pretend that Abby will be home soon. I can't pretend anything. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. Something of me died with Abby. I don't care anymore, I just don't care.
Replies
It gets beter! Chris\'s family descended upon the house before the coroner even left. Within an hour they had two SUV\'s loaded up with \"souveniers\". I thought I would die! Then after the funeral firends were sending me text messages about things they wanted. Just because somebody passes away it does not give people a blank check to enter our homes and \"shop\"! My mother helped me go through the closets and I finally had to day \"I will do this and create two piles, mine and the other. The other pile was for people that wanted something to remember him by. I told her that I was not to be questioned nor was she to ask any questions. The only time I have felt worse was when my home was robbed. This felt like the same type of violation. My heart goes out to you. Once you have everything where you want it things do get better. I have his stuff in a seperate room in where I can go in and smell it and touch it in private with my memories.
Hugs to you!
Ronda
I had sort of an opposite experience, and it helped me. Tom\'s eldest daughter, son and grandson were on their way to see him when we all suddenly realized he probably had only a day or two left. They got up here in time for a visit and to say goodbye and be with hum when he died and then extended their visit a week to help me and get through the funeral. But they arrived in shorts and T-shirts and had not planned on staying 1 1/2 weeks or having to dress for a funeral. And my Mom and sister arrived 2 days after, but only had what they were wearing with them since their luggage was lost and stayed lost for 2 days. And it was raining and cold some days and very warm others and none of the rest of the family who gathered here from all over had all the right clothes. So it was with some relief and pride I threw open our closets and was delighted to find clothes for everyone. Tom\'s grandson looked so handsome in Tom\'s French cuff shirts and I let him choose a pair of cufflinks to go with them. Tom had been so many sizes as he lost weight from the cancer - but always had to look presentable to go to Dana Farber Cancer Inst. in Boston for treatment - so there were almost new pairs of pants that fit son-in-law and grandson. The daughter had to go out and by a dress and ended up in a summer sundress because there wasn\'t a black dress to be found, but my Mom and sister I could clothe in my stuff and Tom\'s shorts fit them. Grandkids who arrived with just whatever they could carry in a little backpack I could find sweatshirts and sweaters for when it got cool and I was so glad to have an assortment of raincoats. My sister has a big foot and all the pairs of socks I\'d handknit went to her. And I sent back with one grandkid a couple of very nice shirts for her boyfriend who we like, but who wasn\'t able to come to the funeral.
For us it provided a tiny bit of humor during a very hard time, but then no one was grabby. One of the grandkids who didn\'t need any clothes looked so sad because she wasn\'t getting anything and she was so small nothing really fit her, but was delighted when I let her choose a T-shirt of Tom\'s to use as a nightshirt.
There is still stuff I haven\'t dealt with - and things I really don\'t know what to do with such as the jacket he wove that doesn\'t fit anyone in the family. Actually there are a number of jackets that I need to deal with. But maybe I\'ll just hold on to them and see who the rest of the granddaughters end up with. I\'ll hope for extra-talls!
Katherine
I am so sorry. People just don\'t understand that their \"things\" are just as much a part of them. Your SIL was very insensitive and you have every right to be upset. I know just what you mean when you say a part of you died with your darling Abby. I feel the same way - that when Jim died a part of me died with him. Have a good cry if it helps. Shake a fist at God if you need to.
Blessings,
Linda
Oh dear God you need to take a deep breath and step back from all of this turmoil What a horrible thing to have happen. You have to wonder if these peoples brains are in their asses.
excuse my language. Please don\'t let it consume to much of your time. You are in a very delicate stage right now but I promise it will get better. It is so hard to lose ones soul mate and to have her sister come in and try to take everything is inexcusable. When anyone else asks for anything tell them you are not ready to give up anything right now. If they don\'t like it Tough. Please know we are here for you anytime you feel like venting. Don\'t give up. We all understand. Diane
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I was really scared they would run over you the way you were still feeling but just know you did as she had wanted and there wasn\'t any fighting, My husband begged me and his family to get along. It was so bad we had the sheriffs dept at the cemetary to keep me from being shot. Then when me and my children left the funeral we were chased at gunpoint and had to hide in the automotive bay at Wal-mart until the cops got there to escort us out of town. So be thankful her wishes could be carried out.