an update of my life.....................not good, too many wasted days.........need help!!!!!!!!!!!!! watched trainspotting about drugs , so disgusting, drink is just as disgusting and i am disgusting. do not want to feel like this anymore. what can i do???????????? i am going to write on here every day until i get better. i lie about my drinking and make excuses all the time. i have got a good life if i lived it properley. my son is away to a funreal today ,a 17 year old friend, so tragic ,she thought no one loved her, she hung herself last saturday nite, and this sat, my nieces boyfriend died in his sleep, only 21. they were together for 6 years. my family need me just now so i need to be sober to help them, and i will.