My Love
Hi Babe,
I've not been out of the recliner all day other than to get King taken care of. When I got his lunch I grabbed the other half of my Subway foot long from last night. I stopped on the way home from Dr. Marty's & picked one up. I could go to the drive through there & I'd been crying so did not want to go in. I was trying to wait until June to see him because then I will be on Medicare & APA will be my supplemental so I won't have to pay anything. He cut me some slack. He'd stayed after to work me in and then I stayed 20 minutes past my scheduled appointment. It's good to have a psychologist that knew us both and saw firsthand the kind of love we had for one another. He could tell that my pain was worse than on my last visit He suggested that I see Dr. S and talk about anti-depressants. He's not sure they will help but figures it's worth a try. He wants me to call him after Dr. S & I decide what to do. I guess today is one of those "allow" days. I am allowing myself to NOT take are of business. I've already taken a Xanax. It's not helping this stomach ache! I'm glad that cigarettes are $5 a pack or I might start smoking again. It's been 14 years now but I still miss them. Just a short time ago I would wake up, look at you and thank God for another day filled with His many blessing. Now I wake up and ask God why I have to endure yet another day. Please kiss mommy for me. I love and miss you both so much. Marty said that I am expecting too much when I think I should feel better in a year. He says that I will have a long way to go. I've read about many who say the second year was their hardest. The first year they are in denial & numb. In the second year reality sets in. I think I was out of denial quite some time ago. I am not in this much pain because I am in denial. This pill is making me sleepy so maybe I will take a nap. I love you & always will. We always knew that it would be more than "until death do we part."
Val
I've not been out of the recliner all day other than to get King taken care of. When I got his lunch I grabbed the other half of my Subway foot long from last night. I stopped on the way home from Dr. Marty's & picked one up. I could go to the drive through there & I'd been crying so did not want to go in. I was trying to wait until June to see him because then I will be on Medicare & APA will be my supplemental so I won't have to pay anything. He cut me some slack. He'd stayed after to work me in and then I stayed 20 minutes past my scheduled appointment. It's good to have a psychologist that knew us both and saw firsthand the kind of love we had for one another. He could tell that my pain was worse than on my last visit He suggested that I see Dr. S and talk about anti-depressants. He's not sure they will help but figures it's worth a try. He wants me to call him after Dr. S & I decide what to do. I guess today is one of those "allow" days. I am allowing myself to NOT take are of business. I've already taken a Xanax. It's not helping this stomach ache! I'm glad that cigarettes are $5 a pack or I might start smoking again. It's been 14 years now but I still miss them. Just a short time ago I would wake up, look at you and thank God for another day filled with His many blessing. Now I wake up and ask God why I have to endure yet another day. Please kiss mommy for me. I love and miss you both so much. Marty said that I am expecting too much when I think I should feel better in a year. He says that I will have a long way to go. I've read about many who say the second year was their hardest. The first year they are in denial & numb. In the second year reality sets in. I think I was out of denial quite some time ago. I am not in this much pain because I am in denial. This pill is making me sleepy so maybe I will take a nap. I love you & always will. We always knew that it would be more than "until death do we part."
Val
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