Another Day
Well, here I am again. Trying to figure out why I woke up alone again. The TV goes on as soon as I wake up. My Mom kept hers going all the time. Now I understand. I can't listen to the radio. Too much Christmas music. Last night they had the Christmas pagent and in another time I suspect I would have enjoyed going. I am hurting this morning. Physically as well as mentally. I need to get up and get ready to go have breakfast with my SIL and her daughter. That will force me to get after it. There is still so much to do. This house is a real disaster. I suspect I will just shove stuff into the guest room. I don't know how long before it is full and then I will start filling the breezeway. I am listening to CSI and they just found a dead German Shepherd & said he might be the only man in the owners life. Why do I have to relate to everything. No matter what I do it brings me back to reality. Five more days. God help us all get through it. Everyone have a good day. love, Val
Replies
Val, reading your heartache and understanding.I pray for comfort through these next days.Hugs, Darlene
Good Morning Val...this is hell week for us for sure. I went out trying to shop for my grandkids yesterday and I am just not in to it. All I want is everyone to leave me alone yet I am so lonely and don\'t want to be alone. There is no silence in my house either - TV is constantly on. I fibbed yesterday when one of my co-workers had invited me to a Christmas dinner. I don\'t want to work - be social - talk- eat- sleep-or do ANYTHING. I want to sleep and can;t - I want to just go to sleep and not wake up and face another day of trying to be nice when all I want to do is scream. I am so snappy I don\'t even like myself. I took this week off from work just do I don\'t have to keep answering the same questions - how are you doing with the holidays, what are you doing for Christmas, you are going to be with your grandkids for Christmas aren\'t you. I know everyone is just trying to be polite so respond politely. What am I doing is just trying to make it thru another day without screaming until my lungs burst. This is not a good day - or week, or year....friends keep calling to see if I am OK - how do we say no I am not OK and there is NOTHING you can do about it so just quit calling or emailing OK????? hate this as I have always been told I cam so caring so sweet, so polite and I don\'t feel like being any of those things. Like you say - May God help us get through this week because it will really take a miracle for me......Love you all Linda
Hi Val,
I cried pretty much all day yesterday. Then there was a family issue to deal with. God help me to get through all this!!! I know I am over reacting to everything right now. Can\'t help it, I feel so empty. I missed going to a gathering a girlfriend had yesterday as I just couldn\'t bring myself to go. I just don\'t feel like smiling and making small talk. It will get better, it must!
To us!
Lindanne
I so understand your pain. I will be so glad when this week is over.
Hugs,
Jean