Allen started with tests yesterday, to see if he is healthy enough for a kidney transplant. He was telling me about the tests. I sat and cried alot.  Mandi wanted so much to be a donor for her Daddy. She always wanted to help and She loved her Daddy.  I am missing her so much. I have great friends and family but I still feel so lonely. They don't know my pain and sometimes they hurt more than they do good. So I put on the grin on my face and try to move on. But I have learned fo fake it to make it.  Today is dialsys day for Allen, it hurts to see him go through so much. I pray God will send him comforter. A kidney transplant would be WONDERFUL.