I am writing because I found out my husband had an affair with a woman he worked with six years ago. He was going to leave me and he told me he loved her. He said there was no sex. They had kissed and ate lunch together at work and he picked her up a few times for work. I never wanted to be the stupid wife who would believe anything her husband told her. I did believe him however because he was going to leave me. Why lie? What was the point? He decided to stay with me. He said he loved me and we just moved forward. I never asked him anything and we never talked about it. At the time we had been married almost 21 years. I think it was a classic midlife crisis for him. Not that it makes things easier, just an observation. Anyway, this summer I found out he lied to me. He did have sex with her. More than once. It was such a blow. I am just sick and angry and everything else you can imagine.  Now I have to go through this twice. We have talked about things. I go to counceling, read books and look on the computer for answers and help. I have loved him since I was 18 years old and he is a very good person. But that really doesn't make this any easier. We have two grown sons.  Any advice would be appreciated.