well lets see...for me the past few months have been increasingly poor...just when i should be the happiest, my body betrays me...jon and i bought our first place in april, my disability came through in january, jon got a new job that triples our income...and here i sit, in misery, trying to not be bitter...i actually was doing pretty good over the summer, but as fall came upon us things steadily declined...im not sure which is instigating, the fibro or the ic, but im having bowel issues more and more, increasing bladder issues as well as horrible pain(thanks IC) and all over muscle spasms and stiffness and pain, im not sleeping well...i know i pushed myself too hard this past weekend but i have never experienced what i did yesterdy! i went to sleep around 11pm on saturday and was awake less then 2 hours, not continuosly, till 8am monday morning...i just couldnt stay awake...i moved to the couch and went back to sleep there...sat in the chair, went back to sleep there...it was this horrible feeling pulling me back into sleep, i couldnt fight it, it was scary! my jon is being so wonderful, but i feel bad since im so cranky and weepy anymore and i no longer have the ability to manage sex more then once every week or two, and even then i have to try to hide the pain from him or it ruins it...my house is suffering and there are SO MANY things i want to do but seem to be unable to get anything done...im sooooooo frustrated...i had an mri done today, the nurse from my drs office called and said there are no masses but that it VERY important i keep my neurology appt...what does that mean?!? the mri wasnt for masses, it was to rule out MS! im doing physical therapy and i enjoy the exercise, but i am waiting to not be unable to move when i get done, i was told this would happen, but it hasnt yet...i feel like things are spiraling out of my control and i am def a control freak! this just isnt OK with me! UGHHHH!
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