Therapy
I just had my second therapy session. I guess it would be my first as the first one is merely an introduction.
I woke up happy. The rain poured down as I walked to the car but it did not dampen my spirits. It reminded me of a saying. A fool runs and gets soaked. A wise man walks and accepts the rain. The enlightened man just refuses to get wet! I was hoping I wouldn't get wet but I did! I am somewhere between a fool and a wiseman!
My therapist was a bit confused what I wanted. I told her I am very happy and have been putting mountains of effort in as I have free time on my hands. I have been writing, reading, exercising, joined this forum, meditating, found a role model, decided what I need to do to have a better life and built up many daily rituals to get where I want to go. Plus more, the list could go on and on and on.
So she says what do you want me to do? How can I help you?
I tell her I don't really expect her to do anything. I am really happy with everything. I have said to myself I am worth the time and money to be here. I told her just by handing you my money and me turning up on time I am telling myself I am worth it and I love myself.
She asks do you want to set a goal?
I say I have reached my goal by showing up and giving you my money!
She looks slightly confused at this point! You know when you meet a friend and you just kind of smile at each other but both of you don't really know what to say!
So my brain say's you can't just sit here smiling at this woman for an hour she is going to get freaked out!
So I look at her bookshelf and say soooooo you like reading?!?!
She just smiles and says do I really want to pay her just to talk about books???
Come on brain! Do better than that! She's a therapist start talking about yourself!
So I start talking about myself and when I finish talking about one thing I go straight back into talking about myself again determined to get through the hour without freaking her out! I mention my thoughts and a tense feeling in my legs.
She tries to stop me talking but I am determined to carry on talking at this point!
Brain stop talking! She wants to speak!
So then she gives me a task to do to focus on my legs. Ok....if she wants to feel more involved in this process then who am I to judge! Let her say what she needs to say.
15 minutes later I am almost crying! She just showed me how to sit still for heavens sake!!! That's all I ever wanted was to sit still!!! I want to sit in the real world and just watch life unfold instead of sitting in my head worrying about life unfolding!
I left and thanked her.
I realised something when I got home a moment ago. I told her I did not want her to do anything. I told her I did not expect her to do anything. I told her however much money she wanted I would give it to her for simply doing nothing but sit there and she still went out of her way to help me!
No matter how crazy you think you are in life there is always someone crazier than you!!!
I woke up happy. The rain poured down as I walked to the car but it did not dampen my spirits. It reminded me of a saying. A fool runs and gets soaked. A wise man walks and accepts the rain. The enlightened man just refuses to get wet! I was hoping I wouldn't get wet but I did! I am somewhere between a fool and a wiseman!
My therapist was a bit confused what I wanted. I told her I am very happy and have been putting mountains of effort in as I have free time on my hands. I have been writing, reading, exercising, joined this forum, meditating, found a role model, decided what I need to do to have a better life and built up many daily rituals to get where I want to go. Plus more, the list could go on and on and on.
So she says what do you want me to do? How can I help you?
I tell her I don't really expect her to do anything. I am really happy with everything. I have said to myself I am worth the time and money to be here. I told her just by handing you my money and me turning up on time I am telling myself I am worth it and I love myself.
She asks do you want to set a goal?
I say I have reached my goal by showing up and giving you my money!
She looks slightly confused at this point! You know when you meet a friend and you just kind of smile at each other but both of you don't really know what to say!
So my brain say's you can't just sit here smiling at this woman for an hour she is going to get freaked out!
So I look at her bookshelf and say soooooo you like reading?!?!
She just smiles and says do I really want to pay her just to talk about books???
Come on brain! Do better than that! She's a therapist start talking about yourself!
So I start talking about myself and when I finish talking about one thing I go straight back into talking about myself again determined to get through the hour without freaking her out! I mention my thoughts and a tense feeling in my legs.
She tries to stop me talking but I am determined to carry on talking at this point!
Brain stop talking! She wants to speak!
So then she gives me a task to do to focus on my legs. Ok....if she wants to feel more involved in this process then who am I to judge! Let her say what she needs to say.
15 minutes later I am almost crying! She just showed me how to sit still for heavens sake!!! That's all I ever wanted was to sit still!!! I want to sit in the real world and just watch life unfold instead of sitting in my head worrying about life unfolding!
I left and thanked her.
I realised something when I got home a moment ago. I told her I did not want her to do anything. I told her I did not expect her to do anything. I told her however much money she wanted I would give it to her for simply doing nothing but sit there and she still went out of her way to help me!
No matter how crazy you think you are in life there is always someone crazier than you!!!
Replies
OMG, please don\'t take this the wrong way but you are hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing that story. I know it\'s a journal entry and I probably shouldn\'t be commenting like this but I really mean it, thank you! I\'m really stuck in my head and trying to get out of it to go and do what I have to get done and ...wow, I\'m not alone. And you threw in humor to boot. Awesome.
I realised after how funny it was! I can be a little awkward at times!
If you interested the exercise she did was called EFT Tapping. The theory is bad energy gets caught up in your body so needs to be released so you can be healthy. By relaxing my legs I found my thoughts became more relaxed instantly and I could sit in the moment!