Sunday
Another day is almost gone and no crown. Either I have some how missed it or it is lodged somewhere. Either way it is not good for me. I can not afford another $1200 to make a new one and I have no health insurance to see a doctor. So I guess this is the last dentist appointment for me.
Maybe I am more upset about this than I realize. The last time I spoke to my son(a week ago yesterday)he said he was going to go to see a Doctor. Well I have never heard from him and today I called. He said it just all got forgotten. His therapist just didn't bring it up. His father has never sent him his Insurance card, so my son feels it must not have been important. My stupid phone keeps dropping the call, we had to call each other back about 6 times to have a ten minute conversation. Which got me nothing but upset because of the drops and my sons SUPER GUARDED answers. I finally told him I can not be nice and pleasant if he is going to make everything harder than pulling teeth. He says he can't help it because of how I have acted the past year, but lately things are much better. I tried to point out that his lying to me, which is what it is when he won't answer a direct question of any kind(not even how is the weather)it upsets me and we are reduced to conversation that is not even as friendly as two strangers. So if he wants to have a nice conversation he must talk to me, tell what is going on his life, not intimate details, just stuff friends say. Like "oh boy that professor in math class really messed us up today!" "If it doesn't stop raining, I'll never get to the grocery store." Whatever! I have no idea what my son likes or doesn't like. I don't know what he does in his spare time, or what he even might like to do? Spring Break is coming in another week for him. So I managed on the last call to ask what are his plans? "Nothing, I have no money" I told him "what would you like to do if you had money?" His reply "But I don't!" I said okay I'll send you $500 today, what would you do? "Go to a movie" Anything else? "Nope." Thank goodness the phone cut out again. So I sat down and emailed him what I wanted to say but couldn't. When I was done I called him on the computer. Google lets you call for free, but again the sound isn't great. I told him I loved him and was sorry the phones were so bad. He said he was on his way to Band practice, so I told him to have a good time.
I was supposed to go see Dorothy today, but I have been crying so bad I don't want her to know.
I miss my son so much, I miss being able to talk to him normally. I miss knowing him. I miss my daughter. I miss knowing her. I love them both so much.
Maybe I am more upset about this than I realize. The last time I spoke to my son(a week ago yesterday)he said he was going to go to see a Doctor. Well I have never heard from him and today I called. He said it just all got forgotten. His therapist just didn't bring it up. His father has never sent him his Insurance card, so my son feels it must not have been important. My stupid phone keeps dropping the call, we had to call each other back about 6 times to have a ten minute conversation. Which got me nothing but upset because of the drops and my sons SUPER GUARDED answers. I finally told him I can not be nice and pleasant if he is going to make everything harder than pulling teeth. He says he can't help it because of how I have acted the past year, but lately things are much better. I tried to point out that his lying to me, which is what it is when he won't answer a direct question of any kind(not even how is the weather)it upsets me and we are reduced to conversation that is not even as friendly as two strangers. So if he wants to have a nice conversation he must talk to me, tell what is going on his life, not intimate details, just stuff friends say. Like "oh boy that professor in math class really messed us up today!" "If it doesn't stop raining, I'll never get to the grocery store." Whatever! I have no idea what my son likes or doesn't like. I don't know what he does in his spare time, or what he even might like to do? Spring Break is coming in another week for him. So I managed on the last call to ask what are his plans? "Nothing, I have no money" I told him "what would you like to do if you had money?" His reply "But I don't!" I said okay I'll send you $500 today, what would you do? "Go to a movie" Anything else? "Nope." Thank goodness the phone cut out again. So I sat down and emailed him what I wanted to say but couldn't. When I was done I called him on the computer. Google lets you call for free, but again the sound isn't great. I told him I loved him and was sorry the phones were so bad. He said he was on his way to Band practice, so I told him to have a good time.
I was supposed to go see Dorothy today, but I have been crying so bad I don't want her to know.
I miss my son so much, I miss being able to talk to him normally. I miss knowing him. I miss my daughter. I miss knowing her. I love them both so much.
Replies
Mac, Don\'t be discouraged. Think about how your conversations with your son were last month, last year. I think from what you\'ve said this is an improvement. In time you will have more conversations with your son. Even bad conversations is a start towards the talks you want with your son.
Thanks Trisha you are exactly right! Thanks for the encouragement!
Your son sounds a little discouraged with his college life right now. It sounds like he\'s having a hard time, especially financially, and trying to make you feel bad about it. Kids have a way of doing that. Maybe he\'ll realize that during the summer months when he is home he should get a job and try and save some money for when he\'s at college. I don\'t mean that as harsh as it sounded but its a thought he should consider.
He\'s at such a tough age and being away from home isn\'t easy for him either.
Just be as supportive of his moods as you can be. I know he\'s not being very nice to you, and it hurts, but he\'s going to realize that you are just trying to help him.
About your crown, all you can do is wait, I hope it shows up soon.
Thanks you are absolutely correct, my son is very discouraged with his college at the moment. His dad made it sound like he had a job for him last summer and by the time he knew for certain that he didn\'t it was too late and that depressed him so much he didn\'t bother to even try after that. Also my son has no driver\'s license and out here there is very little public transportation so most companies ask if you drive. Of course I have offered to help him get his license but since he won\'t visit me while he is here, that went out the door. He mentioned his dad again supposedly is getting him a job at his company. I said nothing at the time, but I\'ll believe it when I see it. I wish he would listen to me and not his dad, but I guess he will have to suffer more from his dad before he learns. Hey I never left my RV today and was saying to Trisha that at least it wasn\'t raining here, just now they said on the news that it is raining. So I looked outside and sure enough...Rain! Again thanks your comments make me see reality not just how I am being hurt. In other words \"its not about me!\"