Sunday
Another day is almost gone and no crown. Either I have some how missed it or it is lodged somewhere. Either way it is not good for me. I can not afford another $1200 to make a new one and I have no health insurance to see a doctor. So I guess this is the last dentist appointment for me.
Maybe I am more upset about this than I realize. The last time I spoke to my son(a week ago yesterday)he said he was going to go to see a Doctor. Well I have never heard from him and today I called. He said it just all got forgotten. His therapist just didn't bring it up. His father has never sent him his Insurance card, so my son feels it must not have been important. My stupid phone keeps dropping the call, we had to call each other back about 6 times to have a ten minute conversation. Which got me nothing but upset because of the drops and my sons SUPER GUARDED answers. I finally told him I can not be nice and pleasant if he is going to make everything harder than pulling teeth. He says he can't help it because of how I have acted the past year, but lately things are much better. I tried to point out that his lying to me, which is what it is when he won't answer a direct question of any kind(not even how is the weather)it upsets me and we are reduced to conversation that is not even as friendly as two strangers. So if he wants to have a nice conversation he must talk to me, tell what is going on his life, not intimate details, just stuff friends say. Like "oh boy that professor in math class really messed us up today!" "If it doesn't stop raining, I'll never get to the grocery store." Whatever! I have no idea what my son likes or doesn't like. I don't know what he does in his spare time, or what he even might like to do? Spring Break is coming in another week for him. So I managed on the last call to ask what are his plans? "Nothing, I have no money" I told him "what would you like to do if you had money?" His reply "But I don't!" I said okay I'll send you $500 today, what would you do? "Go to a movie" Anything else? "Nope." Thank goodness the phone cut out again. So I sat down and emailed him what I wanted to say but couldn't. When I was done I called him on the computer. Google lets you call for free, but again the sound isn't great. I told him I loved him and was sorry the phones were so bad. He said he was on his way to Band practice, so I told him to have a good time.
I was supposed to go see Dorothy today, but I have been crying so bad I don't want her to know.
I miss my son so much, I miss being able to talk to him normally. I miss knowing him. I miss my daughter. I miss knowing her. I love them both so much.
Maybe I am more upset about this than I realize. The last time I spoke to my son(a week ago yesterday)he said he was going to go to see a Doctor. Well I have never heard from him and today I called. He said it just all got forgotten. His therapist just didn't bring it up. His father has never sent him his Insurance card, so my son feels it must not have been important. My stupid phone keeps dropping the call, we had to call each other back about 6 times to have a ten minute conversation. Which got me nothing but upset because of the drops and my sons SUPER GUARDED answers. I finally told him I can not be nice and pleasant if he is going to make everything harder than pulling teeth. He says he can't help it because of how I have acted the past year, but lately things are much better. I tried to point out that his lying to me, which is what it is when he won't answer a direct question of any kind(not even how is the weather)it upsets me and we are reduced to conversation that is not even as friendly as two strangers. So if he wants to have a nice conversation he must talk to me, tell what is going on his life, not intimate details, just stuff friends say. Like "oh boy that professor in math class really messed us up today!" "If it doesn't stop raining, I'll never get to the grocery store." Whatever! I have no idea what my son likes or doesn't like. I don't know what he does in his spare time, or what he even might like to do? Spring Break is coming in another week for him. So I managed on the last call to ask what are his plans? "Nothing, I have no money" I told him "what would you like to do if you had money?" His reply "But I don't!" I said okay I'll send you $500 today, what would you do? "Go to a movie" Anything else? "Nope." Thank goodness the phone cut out again. So I sat down and emailed him what I wanted to say but couldn't. When I was done I called him on the computer. Google lets you call for free, but again the sound isn't great. I told him I loved him and was sorry the phones were so bad. He said he was on his way to Band practice, so I told him to have a good time.
I was supposed to go see Dorothy today, but I have been crying so bad I don't want her to know.
I miss my son so much, I miss being able to talk to him normally. I miss knowing him. I miss my daughter. I miss knowing her. I love them both so much.
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