Sad day
Warning babble ...
It's been 8 years today since Chris has passed. I miss his hugs, smile, laugh, smart ass wit, so much has changed in 8 years. i am broken without him, we were very close, BUT i feel the worst for my younger son Steven. They were born 14 mo apart & were best friends. He won't talk much about Chris to me. Ive asked his wife if he ever talkes about him & she sais he does occasionally. Chris's old girlfriend stopped by the other day she brings such comfort she is like the daughter I never had, her & I can go on for hours talking, we laugh & cry. She told me the day we viewed Chis's body at the mortuary Stevens said to chris "why did you have to drive so fast" for some reason I just lost it & started bawling. I hate to see Steven hurting, it's just not fair. Fortunately he has a wonderful wife of 6 years (she new chris) and two adorable children, not that I'm bias !!
Im making it through the day, I take care of my grand kids and I'm so busy & they are so happy I have no time for sadness.
A couple of things set me off crying today. One, I wear a heart necklace on a long chain down my shirt that has Chris's picture etched on it & some of his ashes inside. Ocassionally, Tesla, my 1 1/2 yr old granddaughter will say "heart" pull it out and look at it.. I always say "uncle Chris" she looks at it for awhile then drops it back in my shirt. Today she must have said heart & taken it out about 15 times, but instead of me saying anything she would say "uncle" .... I take it as a sign he was around.
The other thing that made me cry alone in my car. Five days a week I pass by the spot where Chris was killed ( its the shortest route to freeway). Steven had made a cross with his name on it when he passed, and it is there. When I pass by, or any of his friends, we rev our engines.... Anyway, the site has been messy with some weeds growing, I can't get myself to stop there it just hurts to much, I have never stopped there, but the mess was really starting to bother me. Anyway when I drove by this afternoon, the area is completely cleaned up ..... It shows someone cared......That is why I was crying in my car.
thanks for listening to me babble .... I needed to get that out.
It's been 8 years today since Chris has passed. I miss his hugs, smile, laugh, smart ass wit, so much has changed in 8 years. i am broken without him, we were very close, BUT i feel the worst for my younger son Steven. They were born 14 mo apart & were best friends. He won't talk much about Chris to me. Ive asked his wife if he ever talkes about him & she sais he does occasionally. Chris's old girlfriend stopped by the other day she brings such comfort she is like the daughter I never had, her & I can go on for hours talking, we laugh & cry. She told me the day we viewed Chis's body at the mortuary Stevens said to chris "why did you have to drive so fast" for some reason I just lost it & started bawling. I hate to see Steven hurting, it's just not fair. Fortunately he has a wonderful wife of 6 years (she new chris) and two adorable children, not that I'm bias !!
Im making it through the day, I take care of my grand kids and I'm so busy & they are so happy I have no time for sadness.
A couple of things set me off crying today. One, I wear a heart necklace on a long chain down my shirt that has Chris's picture etched on it & some of his ashes inside. Ocassionally, Tesla, my 1 1/2 yr old granddaughter will say "heart" pull it out and look at it.. I always say "uncle Chris" she looks at it for awhile then drops it back in my shirt. Today she must have said heart & taken it out about 15 times, but instead of me saying anything she would say "uncle" .... I take it as a sign he was around.
The other thing that made me cry alone in my car. Five days a week I pass by the spot where Chris was killed ( its the shortest route to freeway). Steven had made a cross with his name on it when he passed, and it is there. When I pass by, or any of his friends, we rev our engines.... Anyway, the site has been messy with some weeds growing, I can't get myself to stop there it just hurts to much, I have never stopped there, but the mess was really starting to bother me. Anyway when I drove by this afternoon, the area is completely cleaned up ..... It shows someone cared......That is why I was crying in my car.
thanks for listening to me babble .... I needed to get that out.
Replies
So so sorry that we are on this journey. I wish you some peace, Hugs xoxox
Chris was/is with you today. Those were good tears. I don\'t believe we will ever stop missing our children.
Love and tight hugs,
Marlene
I appreciate you sharing your heart with us. Let your tears & words flow, we understand & we care. Prayers for you & Steven as you deal with this great loss. Hugs.....Vicki
I am sorry that I did not see it was Chris\' passing, yesterday. My remaining son hurt so bad for his brother around the Christmas holidays. It is so hard having Josh gone and watching both his father and brother suffer as well. I love the story of \"Uncle Chris\" and also the story of someone caring about the weeds near his cross. I hope you can breathe deep for the next few days, it hurts no matter how long it has been. Sending love...
How precious your little granddaughter said \"uncle.\" She is learning & understanding more what Chris means to you and how he is part of her family.
Whenever you go by his accident site, doesn\'t it make your heart jump a beat to see that another person cares for him and would clean up that area? I know it does mine.
Thinking of you with gentlest of care
Debbie
BLESS CHRIS. ON HIS ANGEL DAY. LOTS OF HUGS AND LOVE.
Gentle hug.......pat pat pat ...