Another Day ....
Lovely day at the spa with my 3 married girlfriends home at 3:30... Wow big day out ! But as we left and I asked what are you all doing tonight, 2 were going to movies with their hubbies and the other out for dinner with hers and their kids... and they wonder why I would like to meet a guy friend ...and why I could possibly be still grieving..I don't want to go out and socialize at night to look for a man ... not even sure I'm ready to be dating , but I do know I miss my life, my husband , my comfortable lifestyle of being at home with my husband and just being ... I really have no desire to be out socializing at night there are plenty of social activities going on here that I could be a part of, but that's not me . Im a 50 year old who sewed my oats in my 20's met my husband at 30 married at 35 and was so very happy being a couple and hanging with my husband, dining out now and then but we were home bodies, I am still a home body I just hate being a home body alone night after night....
and so it goes this new life I really don't like.... I'm not miserable, but I am sad ...
and so it goes this new life I really don't like.... I'm not miserable, but I am sad ...
Replies
Oh I so agree with you. The hardest thing about going out with people to do something is coming home afterward. The lonliness and empty house is hard to take night after night. Just to have them with us for one more night would be so wonderful. I understand exactly where you are right now and it is hard. I am not dating either but certainly could use some company. I don\'t even know how to date as a 50+ woman, scary!!! Hang in there and I hope better days are ahead for us soon.
Take Care,
Robin
My loss is much more recent than yours, but I do understand. No way I am ready (at first the thought appalled me!) to be looking for another relationship but already have started thinking I might want to keep my options open in the future...I don\'t like being lonely - even though I do have many friends...Good things will happen for you, I am sure...Take care.
I understood every word of this, and feel the exact same way. I can do what I have to do, and even laugh with friends and smile genuinely, but that one part of life. The part with a partner to share the LITTLE things with like a re run of a favorite show, or a bowl of soup on a winter\'s day. I get is so well
Trouble is most of us who are here had that perfection of yin and yang in our marriages/relatinships, and the bar is set SO HIGH that it\'s tough to even think of it, let alone act on it1 Just another thing about this journey, that confuses, and intimidates.
HOPE. As long as our hearts are open, and fill them up with HOPE, anything is possible, and will come in it\'s good time. another thing we hate is that word TIME.
hugs to you, and you are such a kind giving, loving person, that only GOOD things will happen for you. It is my wish for you, and for all of us here. Peace, love, and most of all HOPE. diane
I agree...It is so hard not to have our husbands to share our lives with. I started dating my husband when I was 15 and was with him until he passed away when I was 57. I don`t like this lonely life either but I am thankful to know I have support and friendships here with people who understand., Hugs Lu Ann
I hear you on this one.....also agree with the other comments. It is the little things that I miss about sharing with my husband. At this stage in my life what I value are not the same as what it was in my twenties. I used to enjoy some days home by myself but the empty lonely house now takes on a whole new feeling.
One day at a time and what is supposed to happen will......I guess.......hugs
I do so truly understand what you are saying here...hugs.....
Though my loss is the loss of a child, I totally get what you are saying here. It can be very painful when those around us are just going on with their \"normal\" lives while we miss and long for those we have lost. My family and I early on learned that the world was divided into two distinct groups ~ those who \"get it\" and those who don\'t. We mostly avoid those who don\'t.
I am glad that you could enjoy a bit of time at the spa with your friends. If/when it is the right time for you to go beyond that and have some evenings out with either old or new friends, you will feel compelled to do so.
In the meantime ~ as we all do ~ one breath, one step, one day at a time.
May this evening bring you peace and a sense of well-being ~ Debbie
Came across your journal and wanted to express my heartfelt love and support. I\'ve never lost a spouse but have lost a child. I won\'t even begin to imagine which is more difficult because loss in any form is so hard to bear. I\'m sure you\'ve heard from many others but perhaps you should log on to a online dating site. Many others are home bodies too and would rather meet a nice lady who does enjoy being home and living a simple life. It may be scary, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. However, wait until you\'re ready. You will know. Sending prayers for continued healing. Love Robin
When I was in elementary and Jr Hi we had folk dancing in the cafeteria on rain days . The girls had to line up on one side of the room and the boys on the other. The teacher then matched us up in pairs , using our height as the guage. I sometimes wish it could be that way again. Just have a dance partner or eating partner for a couple of hours. Someone to talk to and feel that old security of being a couple again, with no expectations from either person. Like most of you I am terrified to even think what it would be like to go on a date. How would you get over the feeling of disloyalty to your husband?