depressed

Well, made it through my 49th birthday 4.28, you died in your 49th year..... got through
our anniversary, would have been 14 years then our little Bug dog got sick, your favorite
buddy has eye ulcers, and I cried at the vet remembering his surgery 5 years ago and
how we sat at Salt Cellar from 11 to 1 am while he had emergency surgery, he needs
eye drops every 2 hours and you aren't hear to help me and console him, I 've been
depressed since friday sitting in a pity party of 1, I'm so tired of being alone, I'm so sad... 
I thought I was really doing great with the grief and moving forward. what happen ? Is
this how my life is going to go now, can't listen to music anymore, seems every song
makes me cry... I have little energy and want to sleep , no appetite, nausea sick to my stomach, praying for relief , this too shall pass.