Not written for a while.Things are moseying along. Mark has been down in the dumps and suicidal and 'lonely' and has been ringing me a lot and of course wanting  to get back with me.  I dont know why i feel sorry for him and why he gets me in each time.His Jekyl and hyde personality gives me the shits.He has been all sad and lonely and tearful and making me feel terribly sorry for him over the past month. Went on his anti-depressants but stopped them after 2 weeks as he was sick. Just stopped. Then of course he could not cope on a daily basis and when i mentioned that perhaps it was because he stopped so suddenly he said "oh yes, i suppose so". He is a doctor. A medical doctor.He got really bad again, spoke to a GP friend in Townsville, who specialises in mental illness, and has gone on his antidepressants again!  Today he is going to see him for an appointment and then apparently seeing another psychologist.It got to the point late last week that he was so bad that i made him promise me he would go to see someone. I cant be his counsellor nor do i want to be.Rowena has apparently got of the 'merry-go-round" - that is he going between the two of us. Whether she has seriously or not i dont know.When she is not there, he calls me and vice versa.Last night he mentioned that he had met another girl but would give me no details. The reason? Because i might tell Rowena.  WEll, I thought, nothing has changed. If he has broken up with Rowena, then what should it matter if he sees someone else. Me thinks he is just keeping her on the burner and she is actually doing that, not really giving up. Her doing that enables him to behave as he does. One day she will realise that.Today he is off to see his GP but has swung back the other way and is threatening me with less money on divorce as our property has devalued.  I wont agree to less, for I did not want to buy the last three or four things he invested in but he did so anyway, being as he deliberately set up the investment company with me as a shareholder but not a director - so i have no say. But, my solicitor knows of my objection and that is the most important thing.Property is down right now, but it will come up again. He gets to keep the property and I the cash.  His property will revalue but the cash will stay the same. I am not silly.  But i took the bait and he made me angry. Again. On the Paul front, i am having a renewed vigor in my relationship with him. He is over his depression (still medicated) and has more lust for life and get up and go which makes him so much better to be with and talk to. I spent the last 5 days with him at Wang and i had such a great time. He loves me so very much. I go to sleep in his arms, cuddled in, safe and secure.  He took me to the movies even though he does not like it much. He held my hand and kissed me on the forehead throughout it. it was even a girlie movie.  I felt so loved this time, it was overwhelming. And today when he phoned me unexpectedly, i just loved the sound of his voice.  I dont know why i wax and wane when it comes to him. No idea. Of course the money issue is still there, but he is working towards a better job and has 5 applications in at the moment. I am praying that his exercise physiology opportunities work for him, for that would mean some full time work and some money for him.  To pay his debts. My sister has broken up with her husband of 33 years. I was devastated as I thought them the last people to break up, but it happened. Funny how more adjusted to that situation i am now. I can see her husband Jim's point of view better. Before i would have just dusted him off and been very angry, but he sent me a message on facebook after i asked him what happened, and i can actually listen to what he says a bit more open minded now. MY own experience must have helped. I am sad for Lorraine, so very sad, but i can see Jim struggling to live a happier life as well. YOu only get one chance at it.  He was not happy from a sexual point of view (what is new for lots of men). I suspect with time he may get that out of his system but by that time it may be too late to get back with Lorraine. Dont know. Least he didnt have an affair on her.