I am doing better. I am amazed at how I feel when Paul calls from work. I love to hear his voice. I miss it when he doesnt call.I went to my solicitor yesterday. He seems to think that Mark will play hard ball and we should start "proceedings", but i asked for one more chance to sit with him and ask him to sort something out.He gets back on 19th Jan.  He has not called me, texted me or emailed me while away.  He asked me to go away with him each day until the day he left and then stopped. Part of me stupidly misses him wanting to call me or contact me, and I am similarly upset that he has perhaps at last moved on. Stupid, as i dont want him back.  I cannot do that. He cannot give me happiness as i need it.  Just the history i suppose.I am sad as i know he is going to Whistler with fuckface tomorrow - and that is our family holiday place. I hate him taking her there. I wish he had the same thoughts and at least chose not to go there, but this is Mark we are talking about here, and he will do as he pleases - i know that. Had a letter from his solicitor complaining about the amount of money i was spending on Xmas holidays and that it would be taken into account on settlement. He clearly went to his solicitor when i h ad the initial plans to take the kids overseas, and did not tell his man that i had cancelled as i thought it too expensive. I spent $273.70 on my Xmas week away.  I have his flights and accom receipts in excess of $20,000.  My solicitor sent his a letter and demanded an apology and also requested an estimate of Mark and his 'female friends" expenses for their Xmas holidays so that it may be deducted from settlement funds.  Ha, I liked that.I am not vindictive and it is hard to push to get finances settled, but i know i have to.  I will certainly stick up for what i deserve. I am hoping for an 80/20 split, but may have to settle for 75% or 70%.  Will see. He can earn millions each year, I can earn nothing. If it were not for me he would not have had the same success. I was his backbone.Anyway, i am ok. Up and down. Some days good, others horrible. made better by Paul. I have a fear of being hurt again, but if i dont take risks, then i will not experience life and that would be a tragedy.  I love the simpleness of Paul. He even phoned me last night at midnight to chat to me. What a sweetheart. xx