One of my male friends, albeit the older one (61), wrote me a poem. Titled Elaine, to the music of "Clair" from Gilbert and Sullivan. I played golf with him on Sunday and it was fun. He is a carer. I am not interested in having a relationship with him other than friends. I have told him that. I am concerned that perhaps he is a little besotted with me. Normally ok, but there are no sparks for me and the age thing worries me. I need someone closer to my own age as i have a lot of living to do yet. But he treats me well, and kisses me and my ears.... nice. I still talk to Paul each night and I love it. He sent me a teddy and he says there is another present in the mail. Again, he is not someone i could be in a relationship with but i love talking to him and he is particularly sexy so sets the sparks flying there. Pity he is interstate. I am hiking with him in December though and so looking forward to the peace, the exercise and him teaching me more about outdoors. Mark continues to ask me to get back together, but i simply do not want to.Too many scars there. I cant even bare to touch him, but there are times when i think that it would be n ice to have that lifestyle with money for the rest of my life, i have to admit that. But to go without the romantic stuff that has been done for me, the kisses, the cuddles, the being taken care of and feeling adored and loved?? No, I cant. Mark will never change. He wants me now because he cant have me. Simple.And how about Rowena?? He calls me everyday. She does not know that. He cant be happy with her or he would not chase me.  If i am unavailable, he will not simply settle for her, he will look elsewhere, it is what he does. At the moment he may be settled, but he wont be for long, i can guarantee that.Good thing is that i can see right through his promises now. He wants to move down to brisbane as well and tells me that he wont do it unless i tell him i will definitely get back with him. I told him i could not say i wanted to at this time. Who knows about the future, but i am  really hopeful i meet someone who has a little bit of all the things that the men i talk to now or see have! May be too much to ask for. but y ou never know. I am happy at least. Tired from rowing, but happy. I go to Melbourne to row in the Head of the Yarra on 24th .Exciting and scary at the same time.