I have not written an entry for ages. I feel fantastic. yes, I am lonely, but I dont have to look over my shoulder each day. I dont have anyone telling me or giving me negative messages, and I have a life filled with those who make me feel wonderful.It took me 2 and a half years of hell to come to my senses, so I will say to anyone in the same place that you need to do it at your own pace. And you will get there.Mark texts me daily heaps of times. Wanting to reconcile. But I can NEVER go back to a life like i had with him. I spend so much time doubting myself. I lost who I was. And now I drink up every positive comment, and I believe it. A perfect stranger who I met on the plane and chatted to for 4 hours told me in all his years of traveling he had not met a woman to talk to like me. I was intelligent and could cover a large range of topics. I was animated a possessed a lust and excitement about life that was the best he had ever come across. What a lovely thing to say. And he was not hitting on me as one of our subjects was his wife and her golf. I am sure he liked how I looked when I stood up in my boots and jeans and there was the comment "ah, a nice tall rower", but our conversation was brilliant.And I still talk to Paul who I met online and we chat for hours at a time, and sometimes have the phone sex thing. I have grown to love it and feel I am getting much better. I would not do it with anyone else. It is just for Paul and something about doing something different now that I can.My nieces even wanted to buy me a vibrator, so I expect they will have one in the mail for me soon!Mark asks to come back and expects to be slapped on the bottom and then to pick up where he left off. He is living with Rowena (I think) and yet sends me these texts all day. Yesterday I got jack of his nonsense as it upsets me, as he makes me feel guilty about leaving him, so I forwarded several of them on to Rowena. The shit hit the fan for an hour or so and he promised never to text me again, but an hour later he started again. The girls at the office say he is quite manic.I asked my solicitor to get things moving as I am not confident that Mark will cope and the business will suffer and hence my settlement. A letter has been sent to Marks solicitor and he was upset at first, but then sent a text saying something about being able to reverse these things or something, so he was not worried. One day he will wake up.I spoke to my Psychologist in Brisbane (who is amazing) about him, as it is hard for me to accept that I lived with him for 26 years thinking he was shy with women and then found out he was screwing so many of them. She says he uses sex like an addiction to give him the adrenalin high that he likes of risks, plus as a coping mechanism for low self esteem. She said it would escalate over time and if he did not get help, the prognosis was poor. It has escalated - for he started with everyday women and then progressed to a patient. My god.Anyway, I am out of that and pleased to be.If anyone who has offered me advice in the past and encouraged me to move on reads this - thank you. I have done it and am ecstatic.