I am doing Ok. Bit of that blanket there and I think it is because Paul is away for a few days and I have not had the distracting banter.I am concerned somewhat that i have got attached to that as he may well be a prick of a guy in person and the chances of us ever getting together or being compatible are slim. He has no money, has never settled, has no kids. Wonder why??? At 44.I miss his texts and the online stuff.Rob has texted me a few times and I am going to meet him tonight, although I am quite nervous. I will have to walk up to whereever we are meeting alone and look for him which may require my glasses. They make me look old and he is only 41. But I did tell him my age, so he knows.And what if he is a fat smoking prick? I have Emily calling me and I think I will organize the first one after say an hour, that way I can pull out early. She will feign an emergency which I can respond to or not. Stupid. But I have not dated in 26 years.Paul is away for tonight too, so I cannot talk to him, so I may as well go.I am quite concerned that I am using the online stuff to help and perhaps it is not the right thing to do. I already feel myself attached to paul and I really dont even know him. I need to address why I need a man in my life.But I feel I do. ?To feel wanted.But it is so soon. Or is it? It has been over 2 years since I felt special - and a long time before that too. It is nice to hear that stuff.