Today I am back to crying all again. Sad Sad Sad,He has booked a flight on his frequent flyer 19 Jan 08 and it has Mr Mark .. and Ms Rowena Edwards traveling.It is my money he is using. Thousands for that trip, not hundreds. He will fly her businesss class with him. I sent him an email telling him I am speaking to my solicitor about it. dont know what can be done. She should wait until things are settled before spending our money, and why should he spend money on someone he still finds ok to cheat on?he cheated on her in front of Lindsay. She is just a companion for he cant be alone. Why spend my money on her.I am just so sad. I put on a brave face for the kids and try to just get on and do things but I am really struggling today. I had a late night but I slept in.I spent about 4 hours talking to my mate on line. He is a laugh and I love that. An interesting bloke 44 year old. he is very adventurous and likes solitude and snow shoeing in the back country of Aus, bit too outdoory and youth hostelly for me, but I love how we converse. Last night we had a virtual hiking/snow shoeing trip together. It was a hoot. He had to be my knight in shining Yowiesnowshoes and rescue me from the Yowie a few times and we ended up at a lodge. Did not get sexual which was good. He teaches me cool things and gives me cool sites to visit on the web.Like the female funnel - for those who cant necessarily sit down or there is no toilet to wee. a good invention. I had one on my virtual snowshoe trip with him, for he said I had to pee in a bottle or go outside and freeze my butt off.I hope to have lots more of the same with him online. It was certainly time consuming.but today I am flat. I get better writing, so here I am.He never showed me love or affection, only with sex, and then it was not muchHe blatantly lied and cheatedhe screwed 3 girls in one week I know to be factHe tells me one thing and does anotherEven 2 days ago wanting to come home but had her booked on a canada tripHe does not care as he should for his kidsHe likes discos and wanting to keep so young all the timeI like to relax and be where I am at the momentHe likes to go out all the timeI like to stay home sometimesHe never kisses my neck or takes time over meHe does not ask about what I do or if he does he does not care. He is more jealous and resentful.Read my diary of all the crap. It will cure me. I have forgotten just so so much of it.He is violent with me.Others dont stand up to him for fear of retributionLet the slut dwell in hell with him. He will cheat on her. Forget that peice of you that says he will settle with her. He will always be the same. he still looks at women in her presence. He still likes to be 'the man' to his single buddies. Fucking wanker spends my money on her. Hate him. He is dead.I did not send any texts or reply to his yesterday. I wanted to tell him he was missing out on the kids open day. But I would not let myself. That is one day and today is day 2 of that. Fuck the bastard