As I lay next to him last night and again he brings up the slut to interfere with my state of mind, I was thinking of looking forward to tonight when I am in Brisbane by myself where i am alone.Why on earth am I trying when I lie next to him and feel so distant? He does not let me in and openly says that he does not feel close or affectionate to me.I ask him to do stuff and book holidays and still he does not. He comes for dinner and to chat and all the rest but stays at his unit. He has not moved back in. I am acting as a wife with my husband living in a separate home. It is ridiculous.But i am scared of having him home as I am afraid he will start seeing her again and I will have to boot him out again.This morning I read a note he had on his computer. Talks himself into staying with me but says he feels like he has settled for second best now and feels more lonely than ever. Mentions his good memories of her again including great sex and 'dancing on the boat'. That would be MY boat. MINE. fucking wanker.