Well, the deposit money for the house has not come yet and I am suspicious that it is all a scam again. Someone mucking around. That has pissed me off. I am holding out some hope, but not much. Bugger.Had Mark and our accountant over to dinner last night. mark again wanted to stay but I could not let him. He still has not even sat me down and given me the big apology in earnest after two years. I need to at least hear that. He told me he was not over her but is not with her and does not want to be. I dont want to be in another womans shadow.I would not let him have sex with me and have insisted on a HIV test even though he suggested condoms. I told him point blank that he may trust her, but that does not mean to say I have to. I do not. She is trash. Absolute trash and I do not trust her one inch.If he wants to be with me, then show me he is clean. Repeatedly. I am worth it.And I am worth having someone who loves me for who I am and for what I offer them. Not just finances and 'getting by'. I am worth a lot to someone, I know it. I am honest, caring, generous, loving and full of laughter and good wishes. I have a good body for my age, I am fit and driven and I love my family and everyday normal things from watching tv to dancing, from staying at home to travelling.