So he sent me a text or two at about 7.30 last night. Dont know what happened to the hours before that, or even after say 8pm as he said he was tired and was going to bed after cooking his own dinner.Big problem. I do not trust that he was alone or that he was not talking to her. That is what he does. He has done. I cannot live like that forever. I do not know how to get over that, or if I should.On a better note, I am happy alone in Brisbane. I watched my sons play sport and met a few parents. Pity it was the last game. Lots of dads take their boys.I think they loved having me there. It was fantastic.A girlfriend whose husband had a affair on her years ago is having some troubles with her husband accusing her now of having an affair. He is so verbally abusive to her it troubles me. But Mark has said the same to me over the years. Perhaps not so explicit, but he has eroded my self confidence time and time again.I would like for my friend and I to set up house together away from our men really. But that is unrealistic, as we are friends because we do not live together. I am better alone, not with anyone else. But I am sad for her.I go to Perth tonight and suppposedly Mark is to call me and stay in my hotel with me tonight, but I think I may not even tell him when I land. I think I may do the whole luxury hotel myself.I keeping thinking of shit that prevents me from forgiving him and moving on. Like dancing. She is a fantastic dancer. So when we go out now, I dont want to dance with mark. I feel like I will be compared. And I love dancing. I will have to choose not to dance with him or when he is there. And that is sad. WE always danced what I felt was well together. And then I think in the scheme of life - how the fuck important is dancing?????Would I die if I was not able to dance again in my life? No.But I do think of instances and things said, and mostly his easy slide off the tongue lies.He has not called it off with her so that she knows never to call it again. That is the bottom line. And while he has not done that, then we are doomed. And I will not let my heart rest with him. Do I really want to spend the rest of my days like that?