Despite all those text messages and conversations of encouragement by him, he is as usual, his normal self. He has come back to town and just before he left Rockhampton, he sent me a few texts that kind of said again that he did not like the fact that I was angry with him or that I pushed him away with lecturing etc.I suspect that was to set the scene for his picking up again with his slut when he got home here. Then the phone gets turned off, and I did not ring him for anything about 'us'. I rang to see if he could write me a script for an anti-inflammatory for my foot.I just left a message telling him not to worry as I could get the script from the husband of my best friend.Apparently a mutual friend from my sons soccer came across mark and slut in Singapore. Mark, who had previously never given this friend the time of day, came across and slapped him on the back like an old long lost friend and started chatting. He had slut there and said to the friend that he was having a "break from me". No wonder she got pissed with him when they first arrived there if that is how he described his separation from me!Anyway, this friend Glen rang my best friend and told her what had happened and asked if I knew. She told him that I did. Glen described slut as some brassy blonde piece of trash by his side. I like that.I mentioned that in one of my texts to Mark today and I am thinking that may have been what has got him angry with me. He hates that anyone would judge him or that perhaps he will be seen as a dickhead. He cannot accept that people may in fact not want to accept him with her, or even him anymore. He just cannot understand. In this town, there are many respected individuals who will no longer give him the time of day. Some will speak, but give him no respect. He fails to see that.And I am still shocked by his lack of concern that his kids are not talking to him. I really dont know how he copes. But, as my girlfriends say, he only cares about himself. Look at the comments he made to me about slut last night on the phone. Saying that he did not care what she thought or that he did not think he would be with her for very long - is that how you speak of someone you love with your heart? And if you love them, do you send another person texts asking for naked pictures of them? God, he is sick.Tonight I am facing up to them being together in town, screwing or out somewhere flaunting their new relationship. They have been together here before, but he has not taken her out to dinner and flaunted her with him so that bothers me a lot. I am trying not to think of it, but once he has done it, it will be another thing that I have been fearful of, had to face and have accepted. Like the terrible pain and fear I felt with him in Singapore with her, I hated it, I did not think I would cope, but I did and I am ok with it.I work on myself that I do not want such a horrific man in my life. He does not know how to love and he is not good enough for me.I spoke to another friend today who runs a motivational company in Singapore - I was to do a course with his company over there in August. He said that the person who is lying or cheating does indeed feel guilt and to cover that, they generally take it out on the person whom they have cheated on. Like he tells me that I am lecturing him or angry with him all the time. And I do not. I do not. I only ever asked him to be a better man, an honest man. And I do not say that anymore. I made a point not to. My friend says he says that to me to rid himself of guilt and blame for his actions which deep down he recognizes to be wrong. Whether or not he chooses to ever do anything about them is another thing. I dont think he will, not while she accepts him.Really, she needs to find out exactly what he says about her behind the scenes and exactly how little he respects her. But it is not for me to do that. This time it has to run its course, and I have to be confident that it will. And God willing, by that time I will be strong enough to tell him where to go.when I look at his level of maturity and common sense, I am miles ahead of him. He is successful in business and has been successful in friends so far because of me. And that is not singing my trumpet. It is the truth. I am the one who nurtures the friends. And fixes things. My therapist thinks he may come apart at the seams. Who knows? Maybe he will, maybe he wont. I hope that he does but I hope it to be at a time when I, too am not there to help him pick up the pieces.He goes back to work tomorrow here and I wonder if during the day I will get some texts or calls. When he is not with her. He cant tonight because she is there, but tomorrow or the next day, I am sure he may call me just to make sure that I am not moving on, for if I do he is left with one alternative, her. And he will still not put all his eggs in one basket.I have a fairly busy day tomorrow and I have made a promise to myself to keep myself really busy so that I can work through the urge to call him each time it comes. It is like an addiction. And each time I call I allow him to continue to do what he is doing to the two of us. I allow him to potentially hurt me and to undo that thin web of protective film that I lay on myself each time I try to move on. I have to spin a layer of web on another to get through this. So far I have managed only to spin that web to last half a day or so.Tonight I will spin another layer and hope to build on it tomorrow. Hard, hard work but I am going to try and if I fail, I will spin another one tomorrow night and so on until I do it. As each day passes and he does more and more things with her and goes out on the town or on our boat etc etc, then I will be forced to give up as he has damaged each and every aspect of any small thing or memory that I have in this town of he and I. He goes to the movies, dinner, boating, walking, kayaking etc etc. All stuff he has done with me and he does it with her. For he and I, there will be nothing that is just ours anymore. It will destroy us and I will be forced to move on.