I have tyo admit, it is getting a bit easier, coping with the two of them over there. I am thinking of all the terrible things that mark has done to me over the last few years and even before that and I can see that I am better off without him.I dont really know why I hung in so long. As I said yesterday, there were many times when we could not have sex for a reason or another, when he would then not talk to me for days. In fact, the only time he would speak to me was after I screwed him. It bothered me a heap and I did not enjoy sex for that reason.  I tried to bring it up with him but he is driven by his sex drive and getting his rocks off and he would never listen so in the end I would have sex just to shut him up so that he would talk to me.  It got a lot better after I found out about his affair as we sat down together and discussed changes that the two of us could make to keep the other happy. It was better.  But it still bothered me the number of times he needed to download porn and often about teenage girls on his computer. I remember our middle son having some serious depression issues and at one stage trying to hurt himself. I was sitting with all three children afterwards having some bonding time watching a movie just to let him know that we are all there for him and went to find Mark. he came down for a short while and then disappeared again. I went to see where he was and he was masturbting to porn on his computer in his study. I have never forgotten that. I am  not one usually to focus on the bad things, as I find good in anything, but I think I need to do it for a while so that I let go of wanting to have him back.  He really has abused me in an emotional way for a very long time. Let her have a turn  now. I keep thinking he will be different for her, but he cant possibly change at 47 years old. He has his ways set since as long as I have known him and he may put on lovely face to impress her, as he does for me, but sooner or later his true colours will show.  I dont think that she will put up with what I did for very long at all, perhaps just long enough either to get pregnant and get some money, or just get some frills and benefits from his money as soon as possible. By the time I finish with his assets, he will have to start almost again anyway, and that will hurt him dearly.Money and his dick. Uses material posessions to measure his worth, and his  dick to make him happy.  Nice shallow life.Now today I am being nasty. Time to go for a walk in this paradise island.  Very impressed with the replies to my mistress territory discussion!  Learnt lots about mistresses and their drive. They are not honorable people and are insecure.  Imagine thinking that the man they got through deception is now going to be faithful to them!  I know that would have to eat away at their insides and I take joy in that.