Today I went to the office to check on a few things while no one was there. I came across an email to our personal assistant that Mark had changed his flights, so I log onto his frequent flyer and see rather than drive around in Germany for the next week, he is flying in to Singapore to arrive tonight and spending a week there. Yes, we have a friend there, but find it exceptionally difficult to believe that he is going there by himself to see a friend, and that it is in fact, highly likely that he has booked for his mistress to go and is spending a week with her there. Yesterday afternoon on his texts and his message to me on his phone he still told me he was interested in getting back together with me.I feel like the person being beaten up by the clown again. I listened to his message yesterday, heard him talk in his apparently genuine manner, read his messages and got hope that perhaps he was thinking of coming back to me. His last text message was that he had realised that 'the grass was not greener on the other side". I fell into his trap and again believed in him. When I asked him yesterday when he was picking up his hire car to drive around in, he replied tomorrow. Well, clearly he had already cancelled that part of his trip and had organized the Singapore thing. Must be with her. I dont think I am jumping to conclusions there. I phoned her phone at about midday today to check that she answered it, so as she was not flying to meet him there, and she did answer so I hung up. But I think that she may have been perhaps in transit or something, or perhaps going tomorrow. I know Mark and I cannot see how he would spend a week in a place like Singapore by himself. I just cannot see it. I have left a message on his phone to call me and by my records, he is due to land and will be there either now and has his phone off, or in three hours as I am not sure of the exact dates.Yes, i am paranoid. How on earth can I get past this. I know I must not let this clown beat me up and I want the strength to walk away. I must take that strength and say no to him once and for all. For if he has again told me those things yesterday and then organized to go to Singapore with him, there is not a genunine bone left in his body.I am just so sad and distressed.I went to golf today and had a great day. I can have a fantastic time without him, I know that. Again I got asked out to lunch by a male friend. I know I can get by. Why cant I let go once and for all?