Not so bright and sparky today although I have kept myself busy all day. Went for a row in a single today which always stretches me on a personal level as I am afraid of the water and falling in the whole time I am out there in that tiny unstable boat. Rowed about 9km though and certainly got much more confident. I wonder if I should think about getting better in the single and racing that... I think I prefer bigger boats as they are most social.I am still feeling lonely - more so for a partner in life than anything, as I have people around me all day and at the drop of a hat if I make the call.I got asked to lunch today by my sons rowing coach. A lovely man but not someone i would consider dating. Still, it was nice of him and I did not hesitate to say yes. I am away next week so when we get back. He knows my story and my husband and sympathises with me dearly. We have always been close and I have a lot of male friends like that which is nice.Last night I joined an online dating programme - RSVP. Took a chance and may not follow it through if anything comes of it, but I thought that if you can just chat like this to someone, not about your problems but other chit chat, then that may make me feel less lonely. I have a friend at rowing whose wife cheated on him and he met a lovely girl soon after online. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.I am spending a deal of time stressing about how things will go and how I will cope with Mark and his mistress flaunting themselves in front of me in this small town. We have a boat as well, and I am peeved that she will be doing those trips to the reef or other places. Mark brought that boat a year ago as a toy for him, and as something different for the two of us so that we had a new focus in our marriage. I was never happy about it as it costs far too much per month and I know he has taken her on it and they have had sex on it which ruins it for me.Why is it that the mistress can have him in any place, even those that she knows are mine - such as the boat or my unit? Once I know they have been together there, i cannot make myself go there again. May suggest that as a discussion.Anyway, not feeling great today. Am going out tonight though to watch a friends band so should have a good time.