I am definitely feeling stronger in myself. I still wonder if that is because he is overseas and not with her, so I dont have to face it. Test will be after July 7 when he returns. He seems to think there will be some miraculous happening while he is overseas for two weeks and he will be able to make a life decision after that and get on with things, with either her or me. Two weeks?? After deliberating for two years??? Yes, lets get real.He sent me a number of text messages last night and I know I was not supposed to respond as silence and indifference is now best on my part, but I answered a few. He was in a Toulouse gallery in Berlin and was rememebering that we went to Toulouse together in 1984 when we spent a year in Europe together. Good memories. I just sent one or two word responses like "yes" or "my favourite artist". He finished with one that said "I rely on you more than I give myself credit to".Each time I now force myself not to believe it as I am sure he is sending her text messages or calling her as well. That is what he does.I have firm boundaries and I will not be part of his trio a minute longer. If he talks to her or sees her he will have no interaction with me at all. No matter how much it hurts me. I have to believe it will hurt him just as much, and in the long term, if he is worthy of my respect and love, then he will in turn respect me more for standing up for myself.I am not like her - accepting him straight from my bed. I am not that low.I am getting more things done each day now, and thinking how nice it would be to get some attention from another male. It would be great for me. Dont want a relationship, just attention.