Today I am feeling better, thanks to some time with my friends at golf and my time with my therapist last night.I am going to do as my therapist says and that is treat mark with silence. So when he sends texts and emails, I am not going to reply. She says this will be the greatest threat to him.Yesterday I worded a letter to them both, telling them goodbye as I really think at this time he will not change and I dont want to give him the luxury of coming back from Berlin and telling me that he has decided to pursue a relationship with her and not me. I want to keep my power and right now, mark being the man he has become, I do not believe that we can be together nor get things on track.I have left him behind emotionally. I have outgrown his childish and selfish behavior despite my pain. I have set boundaries of which to maintain my self respect. I will not break those boundaries now. I will stand firm.As a friend just said to me, if at the end of the day, the two of you keep coming together and can set boundaries that are solid, who knows what the future will hold. As it is though, it is not possible to run a good relationship where one man cannot make his mind up between two women. It is not the thing that a person that genuinely loves you can do.My therapist says not to send any farewell letter, but just to remain silent. He has depended on me for 26 years as an emotional strut and it will hurt him most of all if I suddenly take it away. In fact, she has told me that for a long time, and I have been able to hold out a day or so but never any longer. Now is the time to hold out. I know it will take resolve on my part as he pushes my buttons good and bad.At least with him being away it is easier. I am not calling him. I sent some emails yesterday in response to his that accused me of being cold toward him. I sent them in anger at his accusations. "What did he expect?"  Me to be all over him like a rash while he was still warm from her bed. She may do that but I will not.Anyway, better today.Enrolled in a 'Goldzone' experience - all about self help etc, in Singapore in August. Had been thinking about it and was sort of put on the spot to do it by a friend, but I think it a great decision. It is a time in my life when I am struggling to find direction, so it may be good for me. It is also a trip overseas for me which is always nice.