15 years!
I can't believe it was been 15 years since I was first diagnosed with hep c. The dr's tell me I will probably never know for sure how I contracted it. But, I believe I know how, when and were. One stupid drunken night!! How could I have been so stupid. High on cocaine! Me thinking if I could show him how stupid it was to shot it maybe he wouldn't do it any more. I could have swore it was a clean needle. After all we had lots around the house (he was a diabetic) never a shortage of needles. So why would I use one that was already used? Did I pick it up by mistake? Did he? Did he know he had it? Why wouldn't he get tested when he found out about me? He said if he found out he had it it would kill him!! What the fuck is that? So all these years later I wonder if he is dead or alive. Hoping he is dead! He used me, cheated on me, abused my physically and mentally. I can't forget or forgive what he has taken from me. All I want is to know if he gave me horrid disease. Why? Closure I guess. Why is it if someone knowingly gives you HIV they can be charged? Why shouldn't he be if he knew he had it. Isn't there a way to find this out? These questions have plagued me for 15 years now. He is walking free and I am a prisoner to this disease.
Replies
It might not have been that one IV use. Snorting cocaine is also a cause is you share the rolled bills or straw.Many who use cociane have broken blood vessles in their nose and thus sharing that can share HCV.
I am pretty sure I can pinpoint the exact DUMB thing I did, but who knows. There were so many dumb things - years of dumb shit. But I viststed a drug using freind who had \"jaundice\" and I sang Donavan\'s \"Mellow Yellow\" to her and had no idea what jaundice meant or the risks. We were druggie buds....use your imagination...we shared a LOT! That;s the most likely source, but like i said, take your pick...
Don\'t beat yourself up honey................listen to Rass (above).....could have been anything..........hell for all you know it wasn\'t even related to anything you did with \"him\". Just no sense beating yourself over it.!!
Time to move forward...........seems hard to do...............Baby Steps:):):)
Thank you both for your support. I do know it could have been other ways, but I am pretty sure this is how I got it. Just hurts!!