Diet

So since I am new to HH I'm worried what I need to do to avoid making my iron levels too high. I'm getting mixed messages between my Dr office/the nurse's and what I'm learning online and thru print outs the Dr/nurses are giving me.
I'm not completely sure just how many HH patients my Dr has had because when I ask my ques, he never really directly answers me. I don't mean to disrespect him...but he has admitted that I've already caught him on some wrong advice he's given me. From the beginning he told me to avoid ALL tea. He then gave me a reference to a website that said "Drinking tea or coffee with meals can inhibit iron absorbtion'. So I called him on this and he then told me still NOT to drink it,then later called me back and said he stood corrected.
Next, yesterday I was reading on a print out he gave me (and remembering upon being corrected myself here in the support group) that Calcium also inhibited absorption...BUT in my notes from a visit with him he told me NOT to take calcium (He said  nothing about Vita C exept that he wanted me to avoid ALL supplements to be sure), as it did the opposite. My husband was there to vouge for it as well...so it's not just me being forgetful or what have you...Today I see him again and I will ask him this ques again to make sure I didn't get him wrong.
At this point my husband and I are reading ingredients to everything and my husband does not want me to eat anything with more than 10%iron because pretty much everything has iron and we can't avoid it all. I feel a little, or well...maybe A LOT overwhelmed by all this since I am lactose intolerant as well and my food allowance is kinda dwindling down:(
Again, I realize I am supposed to ultimately do what my dr tells me...but i'd appreciate some intake on how others are going about this and their opinion.